"Personal growth ... is something I have heard so much about but ... what does it practically consist of?" Probably the majority of psychologists have been asked this question, very simple, formulated by equally simple people who wish to improve their quality of life but they don't know how. So I set myself the task of creating a sort of decalogue for personal growth, listing a series of rules that from my point of view are essential to improve our relationship with the world and with ourselves.1. Avoid Thinking Too Much. Thinking too much is not positive, many times it is necessary to think, sometimes feel or simply act. We should be smart enough to see if it is necessary and how much. Thinking too much sometimes only leads us to dwell on making decisions or leads us to generalize in a totally unfounded way.2. Carry out projects. We make sure that postponing is an extreme, little-used strategy. Many times we have ideas, projects, decisions made but which we do not put into practice. Generally, when an idea remains in the design phase for too long, it loses its value, its originality… There is nothing worse than failing for not having tried to put it into practice. The decision that did not materialize, the desire that remained a dream ... will be regrets that will haunt us for a lifetime. If you have an idea that you think could be productive today, the only way to verify it is to put it into practice right away.3. Perfection does not exist. Seeking perfection in everything we do is the first enemy of action and personal satisfaction. Most of the things or people around us aren't perfect but they have their purpose, and we love them. For this reason, the best way to start a project is to propose that we will make it happen by putting our best efforts into it.4. Determine the really important goals and focus on them. Often we have to face various difficulties, we have various tasks to finish but we are not able to put them in order starting from the most important, the one that needs the utmost attention. Doing a thousand things at the same time does not mean doing them well and finishing them. For this reason it is preferable to concentrate our efforts on a few objectives that can be achieved successfully and with less effort. In a word: Hierarchy.5. Approach activities consciously. According to the old saying: "whoever goes slowly goes healthy and goes far", haste takes us nowhere, it is the enemy of efficiency because it becomes a dangerous double-edged sword. When we try to go in a hurry we usually have to go back to the starting point because we leave out some factors. Haste breeds anxiety and anxiety reduces conscious attention and decision-making power. It is important to reflect (in the right measure) on the pros and cons of our decisions.6. Plan short-term goals. We usually get involved in huge projects. We cannot expect all of them to work perfectly on the first try. Then we get depressed. The only way to achieve important goals is to have patience, perseverance and set small goals that correspond to the main activity. They will be easier to achieve and we will have the perception of moving forward, and so our mood will improve and we will increase our chances of achieving our goals.7. Don't make decisions when your mood is unstable. We shouldn't make major decisions when we are emotionally compromised in the situation. And this is as true when we feel anger, anger, anxiety or depression as it is when we are euphoric and over-motivated. All extremes are dangerous, both the positive and the negative, so important decisions must be the result of reflection and not a moment of euphoria or despair.8. Always put yourself in others' shoes. Being empathic will always open many doors for us and facilitate interpersonal relationships. Attempting to understand (which does not mean reading) the thoughts of others will make us more assertive people and will offer us a more certain perspective of what is happening around us. In this way, our decisions will be more solid and contextualized and we will probably surround ourselves with a social support network of enormous value.9. Getting informed, gathering, talking… does not always mean taking action. Normally our good intentions remain projects, words, information. It is right to inquire and talk about it, especially when we have to start a project or when we have to face an interpersonal problem but only the actions will carry out and concretize our goals.10. Eliminate negative thoughts. While this last rule may seem taken from a self-help manual, it is certain that starting a project with preconceived ideas that doom it to failure is not a good start. Ideas about failure, uselessness… are only converted into a useless means to achieve personal growth. Thinking positive, even if it does not work miracles, helps us to approach projects in an optimistic perspective which at certain times can be fundamental for the success of our projects.As you have surely noticed some of these rules are intimately related because it is a question of finding a midpoint between emotion and reasoning, between uncertainty and our need to make decisions; always preserving our psychological balance and promoting personal growth that facilitates the path to self-awareness and personal fulfillment. As I always say, it is difficult but not impossible. It is always worth a try."Personal growth ... is something I have heard so much about but ... what does it practically consist of?" Probably the majority of psychologists have been asked this question, very simple, formulated by equally simple people who wish to improve their quality of life but they don't know how. So I set myself the task of creating a sort of decalogue for personal growth, listing a series of rules that from my point of view are essential to improve our relationship with the world and with ourselves.1. Avoid Thinking Too Much. Thinking too much is not positive, many times it is necessary to think, sometimes feel or simply act. We should be smart enough to see if it is necessary and how much. Thinking too much sometimes only leads us to dwell on making decisions or leads us to generalize in a totally unfounded way.2. Carry out projects. We make sure that postponing is an extreme, little-used strategy. Many times we have ideas, projects, decisions made but which we do not put into practice. Generally, when an idea remains in the design phase for too long, it loses its value, its originality… There is nothing worse than failing for not having tried to put it into practice. The decision that did not materialize, the desire that remained a dream ... will be regrets that will haunt us for a lifetime. If you have an idea that you think could be productive today, the only way to verify it is to put it into practice right away.3. Perfection does not exist. Seeking perfection in everything we do is the first enemy of action and personal satisfaction. Most of the things or people around us aren't perfect but they have their purpose, and we love them. For this reason, the best way to start a project is to propose that we will make it happen by putting our best efforts into it.4. Determine the really important goals and focus on them. Often we have to face various difficulties, we have various tasks to finish but we are not able to put them in order starting from the most important, the one that needs the utmost attention. Doing a thousand things at the same time does not mean doing them well and finishing them. For this reason it is preferable to concentrate our efforts on a few objectives that can be achieved successfully and with less effort. In a word: Hierarchy.5. Approach activities consciously. According to the old saying: "whoever goes slowly goes healthy and goes far", haste takes us nowhere, it is the enemy of efficiency because it becomes a dangerous double-edged sword. When we try to go in a hurry we usually have to go back to the starting point because we leave out some factors. Haste breeds anxiety and anxiety reduces conscious attention and decision-making power. It is important to reflect (in the right measure) on the pros and cons of our decisions.6. Plan short-term goals. We usually get involved in huge projects. We cannot expect all of them to work perfectly on the first try. Then we get depressed. The only way to achieve important goals is to have patience, perseverance and set small goals that correspond to the main activity. They will be easier to achieve and we will have the perception of moving forward, and so our mood will improve and we will increase our chances of achieving our goals.7. Don't make decisions when your mood is unstable. We shouldn't make major decisions when we are emotionally compromised in the situation. And this is as true when we feel anger, anger, anxiety or depression as it is when we are euphoric and over-motivated. All extremes are dangerous, both the positive and the negative, so important decisions must be the result of reflection and not a moment of euphoria or despair.8. Always put yourself in others' shoes. Being empathic will always open many doors for us and facilitate interpersonal relationships. Attempting to understand (which does not mean reading) the thoughts of others will make us more assertive people and will offer us a more certain perspective of what is happening around us. In this way, our decisions will be more solid and contextualized and we will probably surround ourselves with a social support network of enormous value.9. Getting informed, gathering, talking… does not always mean taking action. Normally our good intentions remain projects, words, information. It is right to inquire and talk about it, especially when we have to start a project or when we have to face an interpersonal problem but only the actions will carry out and concretize our goals.10. Eliminate negative thoughts. While this last rule may seem taken from a self-help manual, it is certain that starting a project with preconceived ideas that doom it to failure is not a good start. Ideas about failure, uselessness… are only converted into a useless means to achieve personal growth. Thinking positive, even if it does not work miracles, helps us to approach projects in an optimistic perspective which at certain times can be fundamental for the success of our projects.As you have surely noticed some of these rules are intimately related because it is a question of finding a midpoint between emotion and reasoning, between uncertainty and our need to make decisions; always preserving our psychological balance and promoting personal growth that facilitates the path to self-awareness and personal fulfillment. As I always say, it is difficult but not impossible. It is always worth a try.
