In a society where we are bombarded with external stimuli, changing focus and getting to know each other will be essential for raising happy and empathetic children.
Last update: February 25, 2022
Is it difficult to raise happy children? Following the new social role of women, it is curious to note the presence of a new phenomenon that could almost be described as "bad mother syndrome".
Today's woman not only aspires to have a good professional career, to be financially independent, to have a partner who understands her and a trusted group of friends.
Within this complex circle, there are also children. The most important people in his life, but to whom, somehow, he has the feeling that he is not spending as much time as he would like.
It is then that the doubts arise: "Am I a good mother?". This sometimes leads the woman to suffer from what has been called the bad mother syndrome.
Today motherhood has stopped focusing exclusively on the figure of the woman. The roles have changed and this is certainly positive. However, the mother figure continues to be considered a vital axis in parenting. Hence the doubts and concerns.
How can we raise happy children in the midst of this demanding society, where we usually don't have all the time we should?
We offer some strategies that can help to parents, educators or a mother who mistakenly thinks she is not a "good mother".
Tips for raising happy children
1. Help them decide
We may not be able to dedicate all of the time we would like. Sometimes we can't get home in time to help them with their homework or to go for a walk together. It does not matter.
Even so, we do not let the children lock themselves in their rooms, we do not let the television, computer or video games “take away” the little time we can share in the best way: talking.
We maintain a daily chat with them with tranquility and closeness. This will allow you to know their concerns and desires.
If they have a problem, let's not solve it for them, we offer strategies and tips for them to do it themselves. To educate happy children, we must first make them responsible, giving them the means with which to face small daily problems.
Do it with love, caring, but offering them autonomy. If they are wrong, do not blame them and do not punish them.
Help them and teach them that there are also failures in life and that everything must be learned. They also need to learn to handle the important concept of frustration.
2. Offer them autonomy within limits
Education begins from the "zero" moment of birth. Both parents must agree on what educational guidelines to apply, define what will be allowed, what times to set, what to ban and what to negotiate.
Children should know from an early age that there are limits at home, as in society to be respected, and the sooner they know it, the safer they will feel, because they will know what to expect at all times. Once the rules are established, we will offer rights and they too will be negotiated and discussed.
It is also important to offer children adequate autonomy in according to their age. This way they will feel capable and confident of themselves, as they will always receive our support and guidance at all times.
Always offer them your trust, speak before punishing, listen to them before scolding them and talk, talk as much as you can with them. They must never see you as an enemy.
Autonomy is a key factor in children's education. As the years go by they will feel that we appreciate their way of thinking and will want to make their own decisions. It will be good to let them check whether their decision is right or wrong.
Many parents, for fear of their children suffering, tend to be overprotective without realizing that they reduce their ability to learn.
3. Never try to make up for time you can't spend with them
It is a mistake that many parents make nowadays. Not being able to spend as much time with their children as we would like, they end up rewarding them with a gift, a toy, that video game they always ask for, the tablet, the cell phone… It's a big mistake.
Children don't appreciate gifts as much as we think. And even more so if we use it as blackmail, because they end up understanding the strategy very well.
We must therefore be clear: there is nothing to compensate for. Parents work and it is normal, everyone in the family has a function and a role, we must not compensate them with "objects" because we are not at home.
Compensate them with the "quality" of life. May the time we spend with them always be the best, the most sincere.
Do not hesitate to play, talk, cook, walk together… Turn off the phone and laugh with your children, without worrying about whether or not you are the “perfect” parent. There are a thousand ways to be a good parent and all of them are good for raising happy children.
4. Emotional intelligence to raise happy children
Educating our children from an early age on emotional intelligence will undoubtedly be a success. The latter, as Daniel Goleman describes it, “is the ability to recognize one's own and others' feelings, to motivate oneself, to correctly manage the emotions in us and in relationships ".
Conclusions
The school teaches math, English, geography, music, physical education, etc. But there is no subject called "emotional intelligence". Teaching our children to make a healthy contact with their emotions and those of others will offer them the opportunity to enjoy good emotional health.
In a society where we are bombarded with external stimuli, changing focus and getting to know each other will be essential to grow in peace and harmony.
