Certain psychological disorders turn us into fertile ground for certain relationship problems. Find out what they are.
Last update: 16 November 2022
It seems like a rule: when we have serious unresolved problems with ourselves, we generally tend to project them onto others. In particular, it is clear that there are some psychological difficulties that turn us into fertile ground for certain couple problems. These are subjective drawbacks that prevent the relationship from running smoothly.
The obstacle, or rather the temptation, arises from the fact that we unconsciously try to fill a void or to solve very personal problems by pouring everything on our partner. Since most of the time this situation is impossible, not only do we fail to do so, but we can also damage the relationship due to these neurotic expectations.
The most complicated aspect is that this happens in the ground of the unconscious. For this reason, we can never identify the psychological disorders that result in couple problems. We only perceive the consequences and usually look for the causes elsewhere. Let's look at three such disorders in more detail.
Not giving our best to someone is the clue that we don't love them.
-Paul Claudel-
Psychological disorders that trigger relationship problems
1. Absence of emotions
The absence of emotions is undoubtedly one of the main psychological difficulties underlying the problems of the couple. It is defined as the lack of emotional predisposition to accommodate the needs of the partner. In other words, apathy and indifference towards what happens to him.
Most often this does not happen by accident. Simply, the person may have received an education in which he was the center of attention or, conversely, he may have suffered from emotional neglect. In both cases there is a sort of blockage in front of the ability to establish emotional contact with others.
Sometimes these barriers can drop for a while, but then they reappear. Just then one of the couple's members - or both - lock themselves up in a bubble and fail to see the other's needs. The shortcomings or self-centeredness are so strong that they do not allow you to look beyond your own needs.
2. See the partner as a maternal or paternal figure
It is another psychological disorder that often generates couple problems. Normally, the growth process brings with it a gradual detachment from the parental figures. This should induce a gradual autonomy, in which the person perceives himself as being capable of influencing his own destiny.
Sometimes, however, this doesn't happen. If a person was raised on the basis of addiction, most likely not in the partner will not only look for a life partner, but also a source of protection, support and care. In doing so, the roles begin to suffer.
Just then it can happen that a person becomes very pretentious with their partner. He does not expect from him (or from her) only absolute emotional availability, but also unconditional support. He may also expect his partner to take care of difficult situations or to deal with the problematic aspects of the relationship just as a mother or father would.
3. Relationship problems due to the lack of balance between giving and receiving
This is a difficulty that most of the time occurs at the same time as the previous ones. It's about the lack of fairness between giving and receiving. Both one and the other, in excess, end up defining a relationship, to the point of destroying it.
There are those who strive to give, exaggerating with this behavior taking it to the extreme, asphyxiating the partner with their own personality, with attention and with total availability. She doesn't stop giving, contributing to the growth of the relationship.
At this point, the most common thing is that those who give more expect to receive the same. If that doesn't happen, he feels betrayed and even made fun of. This situation ends up undermining love. For a relationship to go on, there must be gaps, gaps, as these are the factors that fuel desire.
On the other hand, there are also those who just want to receive. These are immature adults who do not expect to be loved, but to be adopted from the other person. They feel helpless and think it is their partner's job to counterbalance their vulnerability.
Psychological disorders that lead to problems in the couple tell us about incomplete individual growth. Adult love, on the other hand, requires generosity, maturity, patience and flexibility. These elements must be reciprocal for the relationship to consolidate and last for a long time. Otherwise, even great loves end up succumbing to neurotic contamination.
