Few things are as seductive to sapiosexuals as an interesting, intimate, and enriching conversation. For this segment of the population, sexual desire goes far beyond the skin and mere physical appearance: it stems from intelligence.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2022
Sapiosexuality has come to stay. Many online dating agencies and pages already include this term as an additional sexual identity. In 2014, the New York Times also revealed that much of the population is more excited by an interesting conversation than by a sculptural body. Is something changing in the language of attraction?
Absolutely no. Sapiosexuality is defined as that fascination that the intelligence of others provokes in the other, where an interesting dialogue represents a sexual game between two minds, and in which the word stands as a powerful weapon of seduction. In reality, intellectuality as a form of eroticism is not a new phenomenon; it has always existed and it was Plato who revealed it to us in 380 BC
Today we are witness not only of its recent popularity, but also of the various attempts to give this term a scientific value to define a certain number of people. Knowing someone educated on various topics, able to ignite our mind and awaken that mix of curiosity, mystery and admiration, sets up a game that goes far beyond the skin.
Brains, like hearts, go where they feel valued.
(Robert McNamara)
Sapiosexuality: when the brain is a person's sexiest quality
Many see this concept as a form of discrimination and proud elitism. In this way, the attraction that arises between people of high intelligence leaves aside, as you can imagine, those with a medium or low IQ and, as it is obvious to deduce, people with deficits.
Sapiosexuals argue that there is no arrogance in this form of attraction. Moreover, this type of sexuality is not only awakened in contact with a very intelligent person. In reality, sapiosexuality is not a question of “knowing everything”, but of finding someone with whom dialogue can become a form of intimacy, of reflection. Someone to connect with emotionally, through speech, knowledge and emotion.
Intelligence and mind as a factor of interpersonal attraction, what is there for sure?
The New York Times published an interesting article in 2017 that collected the testimonies of various sapiosexuals. Thus, in this age where many relationships start between social networks and online contacts, there are those who feel uncomfortable and frustrated because of the interactions that take place in these virtual contexts.
The exchange of photos and banal conversations in which to enhance the value of the physical aspect, often involves total disappointment. When these people manage to entertain themselves with someone who can have a brilliant conversation, who delves into topics with skill, empathy and even interest, attraction and excitement ignite in them.
So, can a person really feel sexually attracted to someone just with a conversation? Thanks to a study conducted by the Western University of Crawley, Australia, the researchers concluded that around 8% of young people between 18 and 35 are sapiosexuals. On the other hand, in pages of meetings such as OkCupid the increasing diffusion of this phenomenon between 30 and 45 years is reported.
At the same time, Gilles Gignac, author of this study, said that, in fact, intelligence is for some people a basic element of sexual attraction. The intelligent man or woman causes sexual arousal because in a sense it takes us away from conventionalism and everyday superficiality. We attribute other qualities to him or her, such as respect, the ability to make good decisions, understanding and a sense of protection towards others.
Caress my brain: intelligence is the beauty that goes beyond the skin
There are many who view the concept of sapiosexuality with some skepticism. In a sense, these new lexical paradigms continue to appear more and more often. Terms such as pluviophiles (those who have a passion or love for rain) or bibliophiles (color who love books), are recent labels that give a name to realities that have always existed.
when we speak of sapiosexuality, we are not referring to a passion or a sexual orientation. Experts on the subject, such as Dr. Debby Herbenick - a sex educator and public health professor at Indiana University - argue that we are faced with a type of identity.
There are many heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals who identify and define themselves as sapiosexuals. Intelligence seduces them, conquers them, and they don't consider physical appearance as a relevant factor when it comes to feeling sexually attracted to someone. Certainly it may seem suspicious to more than one person that there are people who do not widen their eyes at the sight of an attractive woman or man.
Sapiosexuals are certainly not immune to the charm of beauty nor do they deny it. Absolutely no. The only peculiarity lies in the fact that the latter does not awaken in them a strong desire or a particular charm.
It is conversation, dialogue and that word that flows and dazzles, traps and enters the depths of the most disparate topics with awareness and elegance that rekindle the flame. It is these aspects that seduce them and make them really fall in love. Stroking the brain instead of the skin is for many the most interesting manifestation of sexuality.
