Less human interaction, less empathy, more silence and distance. The consequences of using your smartphone too much are truly dire. Let's see some of them.
Last update: May 01, 2022
How many minutes can you not consult the various notifications on your phone or tablet? This is probably due to the fact that these devices are able to perform many tasks for us more quickly and better. To such an extent that even if we find ourselves sitting at the table with another person or in the street, it is impossible for us not to use the smartphone too much.
Answering a call, sending an audio on WhatsApp or checking social networks are activities that today seem to have priority over everything. Even on verbal and body language, or speaking, touching and, why not, kissing. Can we still remember what it means to hold a conversation? Or does talking bore us and we prefer to avoid problems of any kind, turning every resource towards the distraction and fun provided, constantly, by online entertainment? The dangers of using the smartphone too much, unfortunately, are really many for our sociability.
Clinical psychologist and sociologist Sherry Turkle conducted extensive research, which was later published in her beautiful book The necessary conversation. The power of dialogue in the digital age (2017), in which you state that today's teens have reduced their ability to empathize by 40% and also their ability to engage in deep conversation. The cause of all this? Needless to say, using your smartphone too much.
New technologies have brought with them a profile whose main objective is to be hyper-connected at all times, but on a superficial level. Multitasking was imposed as a universal and necessary law. Hence, many think they waste time when they are forced to log out, to do something in the offline world.
"True love is not checking your phone when you are in the presence of your loved one."
Alain de Botton
I agree, therefore I am
The digital life in which we are immersed is governed by different rules from those we knew before using the mobile phone as an extension of our hands. At the moment, much of the social and work interactions take place through electronic means, such as computers, phones and tablets.
The face-to-face conversation has taken a back seat, even some see it as a waste of time. If you need to solve a business problem, you will surely prefer to send an e-mail; if you have to apologize for something, you will write a WhatsApp message with lots of emoticons.
Coping with emotionally charged situations can generate anxiety and new technologies offer the possibility of partially reducing this unpleasant sensation. They are an adjustable and modifiable filter according to different needs.
Young people justify the use (or abuse) of these new forms of communication as a faster and easier way to express their feelings and thoughts. They say mobile devices allow them to simplify what they want to say, correcting any mistakes or avoiding tense situations they wouldn't know how to fix in person.
The problem is that through the screens we are missing one of the most fulfilling parts of the conversation: non-verbal language. The gestures, the intonations, the looks, which allow you to interpret the emotions of the other person. According to experts, 70% of communication passes through non-verbal language which, as mentioned, is completely absent on technological supports.
In large part, today we replace human body language with memes or emoticons. And it becomes very difficult to keep conversations full of content and feelings for long periods of time.
In this way, we help shape a society that is increasingly finding it difficult to manage its emotions, to face difficulties and to solve them responsibly. If you don't share content online, it's as if you don't exist. If you do not publish photos of a vacation, it means either that you have never made that trip or that something bad or inappropriate has happened. Put simply, what you share will be a reflection of who you claim to be. But it will never be the "real" reality.
Under these circumstances, it is obviously more difficult to empathize, which is to put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand their emotions and thoughts. We are talking about a purely visual, changeable and definitively superficial digital world.
On the other hand, there is also a great demand for new and constant stimuli. For example, if boredom prevails at school, cell phones gain a lot of power as distractions. The same happens during a movie commercial, a break or when reading a book. And all this precipitates our ability to concentrate.
“Each individual should develop the ability to know how to be alone, without doing anything. But this sacred time has been stolen from us, little by little, from our smartphones. The possibility of just sitting there. This is exactly what it means to be a person. "
Louis CK
People talking, an endangered species
Spaces that were previously presented as an opportunity to engage in conversation no longer fulfill this function. Even on public transport, many people spend their time staring at their mobile phone screen. In the rows at the supermarket and shops, they wear headphones to listen to music, while checking social networks.
People no longer talk to each other or, if they do, they talk about what's going on on their phones. Humans have become soundproof machines, they don't care about what's going on around them, they don't talk to strangers or pay attention to what's happening within walking distance. We all jump from one application to another, trying to kill the tedium of silence. Here's what it means to use your smartphone too much.
We have thousands of contacts available on the net that we like or chat with, but after a few minutes it all gets boring. It is not enough, it is not enough, it is not what we are looking for: an eternal dissatisfaction unable to generate authentic relationships. How can we still talk about empathy if we are no longer able to listen to the other?
"Most of the great ideas we know today arose from conversations between different people and minds."
Noel Clarasó DaudÃ
Using your smartphone too much means you stop hearing
Man has entered a frenetic pace of life based on hyperconnectivity and multitasking. As we reply to the boss via email, we check a friend's latest post on Facebook and check the weather forecast for the weekend. We read a book but keep the phone close to immediately answer the first WhatsApp we receive. Or is it not so?
We ask our children not to use their smartphones at the table, but if they call us we respond immediately. We are anxious to be constantly available online, but with the fear of being offline for too long.
Some companies seem to measure the degree of competition based on the availability and operations that workers dedicate to their work networks. The boss can fire us if we don't respond to an email, even at 23pm. And, in friendship relationships, we will obviously respond first to those who interest us most, as in a kind of affective hierarchy.
When we see a person online who is slow to answer us, we feel frustration and jealousy. But then: are we sure that using the smartphone too much is really the best way to interact with others? Are those who answer us immediately more connected to us? Speed ​​and quantity are taking the place of quality and value.
"If the content is the king, then the conversation is the queen."
John Munsell
Talk more, without using your smartphone too much
Small moments of solitude are enough to stop the noise of hyper-connectivity and allow us to listen to our own thoughts. It's about building a space to talk and listen, but really, with no filters, no display in between. Let's take some time to try, without limiting the levels and intensity of the conversation with technological tools.
It is in face-to-face conversations that social relationships are built and strengthened. We can understand how the other person feels by listening to his ideas and interpreting feelings and concerns. Only in this way, we will be able to be empathic: joys and sufferings will come to life before our eyes.
Deep and personal conversations awaken the emotions within our heart. They will grant us an ancient dimension in which to open up and let off steam, in which we can be listened to and respected. Physically speaking with others will give us the opportunity to generate and exchange new ideas, even when we find ourselves chatting about seemingly futile topics.
True bonds, concrete thoughts and shared emotions are what really allow people to connect with each other, in an authentic way.
