When a relationship ends we always feel it, we always feel the emotional distance. However, we are afraid to face reality
Last update: 25 March, 2022
Sad as it may sound, many of us prolong relationships longer than necessary, even knowing that the spark of love has already faded. In doing so, not even the embers of a bonfire that once burned majestically and happily remain. When a relationship is over, we know!
We should end the relationship when we sense that there is nothing left in honor of what one day was beautiful and beautiful.
Unnecessarily prolonging suffering only adds more earth to the extinguished fire, and only blurs the memories of the happiness that once lived in those loving souls.
"People change and forget to tell others"
-Lillian Hellman-
Why prolong a broken relationship?
We do it often: we lengthen emotional relationships that no longer nurture, which no longer bring joy, but quite the opposite. These are situations in which one lives at a distance, false hopes are nurtured and reproaches become more harmful and less respectful.
Subject matter expert John Gottman points out in one of his studies that sometimes it is enough to listen to a conversation between a couple to predict that distance.
In other words, the emotional distance persists for months and even years without it being possible to notice the reality: absence of love, of complicity.
The love? I do not know. If it includes everything, even the contradictions and overcoming of oneself, the aberrations and the unspeakable, then yes, go for love. Otherwise no.
-Frida Kahlo-
Fear of loneliness
For humans, the need to feel protected is very strong. In this way we believe we are less alone, and we know that there will always be someone waiting for us, someone by our side, on the other side of the sofa or bed.
- The men and women of this world are very afraid of loneliness, because we weren't trained to live that way. We always need to have someone with us.
- From an early age we are taught that a relationship is all we need when we reach adulthood. A job, a home, a partner and we have a full life, fulfilled and with the goals achieved.
- However, every day we observe with more force that this does not satisfy us. We need to be ourselves, make dreams come true, but we are not prepared to achieve those goals and it causes frustration at the inability to be truly happy with ourselves.
We take refuge in the routine of broken relationships, which bleed love from all four sides. They offer us some peace of mind and rest, even if they are far from being what we really need and dream of.
Accept the end with courage
In life we ​​have been taught to be afraid. One of the most recurrent anxieties is undoubtedly the end of an emotional relationship.
No one has taught us to manage and deal with these situations and we often choose to prolong the suffering instead of taking the decisive step, instead of accepting reality.
"The hardest kiss is not the first, but the last."
-Paul Geraldy-
Affection may last, as well as respect, understanding, friendship, or camaraderie. However, we must be clear: this is not love.
Not recognizing it, along with the fear of being alone, dulls the mind, soul and heart; prevents us from making the fateful decision that represents the end of that relationship.
Perhaps the insecurity that appears in our hearts from an early age prevents us from making difficult decisions; we know when a relationship is over, but we can't say it out loud or to ourselves.
It may be that the terror of loneliness and of having no one when we return home prevent us from making the right decision. We do not find the courage to direct our steps in the correct direction.
Don't act when a relationship is over
Perhaps the fear of what they will say: how will my family take it? What will my neighbors and friends think of me? How can I do this to my children ?.
And in the meantime he leads an unhappy and painful existence that diminishes his dignity due to a relationship that has lost its passion and that slowly kills every day.
It is not always easy to look inside one's heart, even more so if it is broken. But it is necessary, because knowing that a relationship is over, but not taking action, it is one of the most terrible curses that can imprison the soul.
Conclusions
We invite you to be courageous, honest with your thoughts and do everything possible to be happy every day. The study conducted at the University of Manchester and published in The Journal of Positive Psychology indicates that we can all overcome these losses.
Fear fades over time and anguish ends up transforming and give way to new opportunities to build genuine happiness. Let's try it, it's the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
