Written and verified by psychologist. GetPersonalGrowth.
Last updated: December 14, 2022
The following story attempts to describe the suffering caused by bullying injuries. It is about a child who is a victim of this torment and his parents. Explain how this condition consumes the passing days. Discuss the most immediate consequences of bullying injuries.
Symptoms.
"We don't know what is happening to him. He constantly complains of stomach pain and headaches. He doesn't sleep like he used to. He wakes up at night distressed and comes to sleep with us. He worries about things he didn't care about before.
He has sudden mood swings. One moment he is silent, the next moment he is intensely angry and begins to cry in despair. He also sometimes rebels when we tell him to stop biting his nails or to behave. We have never seen such behavior before.
There is something distressing him, but we don't understand what, because he doesn't talk about it with us. We suspect something is going on at school. Maybe he has too much pressure or maybe some kid is picking on him. We keep asking. We ask the teachers, his siblings, his friends' parents. No one knows anything.
Sometimes he is affectionate. Although he is usually a loving child, the addiction he is creating is starting to worry us. At certain times of the day heseeks our attention in an exaggerated way. As we become aware that something is changing, let's try to use these moments to talk to him. We want to understand what is going on.
Sometimes he withdraws into himself and says he doesn't want to talk. He says he is ashamed. Other times, on the other hand, he doesn't want to go to school, that something is wrong. Finally, he tells us that some children take it out on him, insult him, tease him and sometimes even hit him.
The whole world falls on us. We finally understand the origin of his anguish and discomfort. These are the wounds of bullying.
Countermeasures
Let's talk to the teachers right now. This situation must be resolved. These children cannot behave like this without being reprimanded. Our son cannot continue to live in this situation. Neither he nor anyone else.
We have to reorganize our ideas and understand what we can do, how we can act. It is difficult, when situations like this happen, not to get carried away and go and say a few words to the bullies and their families. However, we know that the best thing to do is to avoid involving the child in direct conflict or confrontation.
So, for the moment let's try to calm down, I the feelings that boil inside us do not let us think clearly. Taking some time and emotionally distancing ourselves from the situation will help us calm down.
First of all, the important thing is to create a safe environment for our baby. We are already working towards this goal, we are doing everything we can. The school will start taking countermeasures. Teachers and friends will be watching every move and every gesture of the bullies towards our child.
But that is not all.The wounds of bullying have left scars on our child's emotions. Although he has already told everything, he is still afraid and anxious. He still has a feeling of rejection of school. What can we do?
How to help a child deal with the wounds of bullying
Helping a child deal with the wounds of bullying and social mistreatment is no easy task for families. Here are some tips.
Create a safe environment
Create a safe space and a trusting environment: It is essential to give the child the confidence that those around him will look out for him. He must feel that nothing will happen to him and that the people around him are on his side. In addition, he must understand that the attackers will pay the consequences of their behavior. Despite this, it can sometimes be difficult for the victim. Overprotecting the child should be avoided, as this can create a vicious cycle that is addictive and will eventually bring negative consequences.
NOTE: Even if countermeasures have already been taken in the school environment, the child may still demonstrate a negative attitude towards school. We need to explain to him that the school environment is now safe. He should understand that going to school will do him good and help him feel better and heal the wounds of bullying. If the child has stopped going to school, we can facilitate the reintegration process. To do so, we can expose him/her little by little to a school environment: meetings with friends or walks near the school. In severe cases, this process can last several hours, until the child realizes that there is no longer any danger.
talking about suffering
We need to talk to children about their suffering. This state of discomfort must be given a name. Children may not be able to put into words what they are feeling. It may be anxiety, sadness, anger or a cocktail of negative emotions. Awareness is the first step in processing what is happening or what has happened. We use terms appropriate for their age and developmental level to help them enhance their learning. Also, we don't have to put any pressure on them. They should not feel responsible for the presence of certain symptoms.
Relaxation techniques
Teaching relaxation techniques and other methods of emotional relief. It is very important for the child to develop resources that allow him/her to release tensions. Relaxing will help him to calm the physiological tension created by the anxiety and emotions that invade him. This will allow him to reorder his ideas and to have positive and comforting images.
Positive experiences
Fill the child's days with positive experiences that allow him to counteract the suffering generated by the complicated situations he has just experienced. These moments have a great impact. They will allow the child to keep in his mind comforting thoughts, images and memories that will replace those that generate discomfort.
ACTION PLAN
Establish an action plan for possible future conflict situations: we can talk to them about how they can behave if they feel threatened or blocked. We have to be careful with the terminology we use. We do not want to denigrate their past, present or future ways of acting.
Social Skills
Strengthen their social skills: toddlers should be trained to handle conflict. They should develop skills to consider the basis of their behavioral strength. Strong communication style is the best style for resolving conflict situations, both in and out of school. This will help children not feel weak in the presence of others and be able to make favorable decisions without getting stuck.
Asking for Help
Talk about the importance of asking for help: asking for help does not make you weak or less capable in a social or personal setting. It is important to convey this message to children, whether they have been bullied or not.
Self-esteem
Strengthen their self-esteem in a parallel and constant way: it must be understood that the victims of bullying are children whose identity has been taken away. That is why it is important to strengthen their self-concept day after day. Obviously it is necessary not to fall into excessive praise and to shape their path.
In conclusion
The wounds of bullying cause great suffering to children and their families. People living in these realities must show understanding and empathy for the pain they experience. In addition, it is very important to educate children in values of respect, zero tolerance towards violence and cruelty. The best way to do this is to talk together about the issue from an early age and lead by example as parents in the family unit.
