Last update: 14 March, 2017
The affective dimension is linked to closeness or positive disposition towards something or someone. It is a state of empathy that encompasses the universe of emotions. Existence imposes stages of suffering, as in the case of an emotional loss, which can only be overcome by means of pain. Today we are going to give you some tips that will help you overcome these painful experiences.
Let's start by clarifying that pain involves a process of trying to balance emotions after an emotional loss. This process takes place in a context marked by suffering, denial, sadness, confusion, anger and guilt.
After that, this leaves room for resignation and reconstruction. Resolved pain makes us strong in the face of adversity and gives us the experience necessary to lead a healthier and happier life.
“Don't grieve. Everything you lose will come back to you in another form ”.
(Rumi)
When experiencing emotional loss, emotions are more intense and profound. The emotional losses can be different: the death of a family member or a loved one, the breakup with one's partner, the discovery of a tragic disease such as cancer, the loss of a job or retirement are just a few examples. .
General aspects of emotional loss
An important aspect to keep in mind is that the more emotional loss takes aback, the harder it is to overcome the pain. Let's take an example: a friend dear to you gets sick and his conditions are getting worse every day. The gradual deterioration of him is evident and, in the end, he dies. This news would not surprise you that much. If, on the other hand, yesterday you met with the same friend and today you discover that he is dead, the impact is greater and more difficult to overcome.
In the course of the process of overcoming the emotional loss, self-destructive behaviors can arise, as a reaction to pain. These behaviors can be associated with excesses and obsessive thoughts.
In general, this means that we are unaware of the degree of dependence we had on someone and, when loss occurs, part of us dies with the other person. We therefore feel incomplete.
Usually, when people are grieving, they experience a lack of interest in the things that previously entertained them. In some cases, they can go too far with the consumption of food, medicine or alcohol, using them as a tool to distance themselves from pain. In reality, by doing so, they just worsen the situation.
4 basic tips for accepting emotional loss
These are the 4 basic tips for dealing with emotional loss. These are positive actions to prevent the pain from taking a wrong turn. These are elements that you must put into practice in order to get out of your difficult situation.
- The pain process takes time; wounds heal gradually and you cannot rush them. Pain must be accepted sooner or later. And the worst decision you can make is to look for shortcuts to reduce suffering or to try to ignore it.
- In the event that the pain corresponds to an emotional loss such as the death of a loved one, it is wrong to hide the affliction and avoid talking about the missing loved one. Contrary to popular belief, talking about those who are no longer there brings relief and helps in the healthy evolution of pain.
- When the pain seems to get worse and produce crises, you want to hurt yourself; they even go so far as to produce suicidal thoughts. If so, your best bet is to share your thoughts with someone you trust or seek help from a therapist.
- There is no wrong and right way to overcome pain. This process takes place through several stages and does not have a specific development time. It varies depending on the person and the intensity of the loss. There will be times when you believe you can't do it anymore, instead you will. Just think of some past moments in which you have experienced the same feeling.
3 more tips
In addition to the previous advice, there are other important aspects to successfully deal with an emotional loss and they mainly concern the management of emotions and subjective perceptions.
- It is important to express your emotions: this frees us and reduces the weight we carry. Therefore, nYou do not have to repress the desire to cry, to discharge the physical energy accumulated from all the frustrations. Sometimes it is enough to talk to someone about it; over time, the feeling will be less painful.
- When the pain becomes unbearable and always stagnates in the same spot, the best thing to do is to seek help from a professional. He will give the support and knowledge necessary to advance us in our process of loss. In some cases, further complications may arise such as, for example, the appearance of diseases as a result of the somatization of the conflict.
- As unfair as it may seem, life goes on. Go on with your life, don't stop studying or working, don't stop taking care of your pet, don't leave your sporting activity… All this is a natural imposition. Don't run away from your emotions e try to do the activities you would normally do. But above all, don't feel guilty if you feel good.
The end of one phase is the beginning of another. Greater well-being can be hidden behind suffering. Maybe you won't see it at first and you'll have to wait a bit before you can. Affective loss is a time of crisis where you can find your true inner strength. Suffering can turn into security and trust to move forward, daring to exist and love.
Images courtesy of Ricor, Three Sisters
