Last update: December 15, 2015
High sensitivity is a gift that sometimes frightens, disorients and makes us feel like a lonely island surrounded by an ocean of sharp blades.
High sensitivity was first described in 1975 by the American psychologist Elaine Aron. Her idea of ​​her was to delve into the characteristics of introversion, and in fact she discovered something very interesting.
The introverted personality did not have a classic pattern and common to all people. Today, thanks to the research of Jonathan Check, we know that there are 4 types of introverted personalities, very different from each other.
Elaine Aron, in her book “Highly Sensitive People”, explains that one in five people is highly sensitive; therefore, high sensitivity is not a feature of introversion, but another type of personality.
Experience sadness or happiness with greater intensity, feel the suffering of others, be very intuitive from childhood, feel good in solitude, be very sensitive to pain, light or loud sounds, etc.
All these characteristics are typical of highly sensitive people, who, normally, they don't know they are until adulthood, until life shows them that they always go "against the tide".
Among all these dimensions, there is one that HSPs experience in a particularly complex way: the love.
How to maintain a relationship with a person who does not feel things with the same intensity as us? How to manage all that confusion of emotions without losing balance?
How to deal with a disappointment or a failure? Today we will give you 5 ideas to keep in mind.
1 - Love for yourself
The love, respect for oneself, it is a pact that must last for a lifetime. HSPs feel different for a long time, they feel like real Martians.
Why do you take things so intensely? Why are you so sensitive if nothing happened?
Statements like these are likely to be familiar to you. If, for a long time, we receive always the same reproaches from our partner and other peopleeventually our self-esteem weakens.
You don't have to think of high sensitivity as a trait you possess: high sensitivity is who you are, you have to accept it, because by recognizing this gift, you also accept yourself.
Maybe you are tired of suffering, of seeing that others go in one direction and you are against the tide. Stop clinging to suffering, get rid of negative emotions and accept yourself fully, giving weight to your positive faculties.
The life of a person with high sensitivity can be wonderful, intense and special, because it is lived from the bottom of the heart.
2 - Accept that others cannot experience things with the same intensity as you
It is very likely that you have felt frustrated because your partner did not see things the way you did. He wasn't that receptive, so sensitive to details, to the looks, ...
You know how to read gestures, you understand every aspect, you worry about every word and every movement. However, your partner appears to be blind to all these details. Could it mean that he loves you less? Absolutely no.
Love is not always lived in the same way and this does not mean that they do not love you. Your partner loves you, only he does it his way and you do it your way.
You have to accept that not everyone wears the wonderful glasses you wear. You love on another level, accept the way they love others, because their feeling is sincere too.
3 - Handle negative emotions, do not become prisoners
When a HSP suffers a disappointment, when he experiences a breakup, a betrayal or a lie, her pain can lead to weakness and depression.
We have said that happiness and love are experienced in a very intense way; the same principle applies to bankruptcy. And the inner fall can be very serious.
Do not allow this fact, immediately accept adversity, the existence of failure, the knowledge of sadness. Life also has thorns, among which you must never be imprisoned.
Make sure that your emotions are the oxygen of your daily life, be resilient. Learn from your losses.
4 - The wisdom of solitude
If there is one aspect in which you are at an advantage, is the wisdom of solitude. You are among those people who take great pleasure in being alone, creating, reading, listening to music, etc.
You have a very vast inner knowledge, you know how to listen to and respect each other. Master the knowledge of loneliness, because you feel at ease in it, you feel yourself.
Remember that those who are comfortable in solitude and with themselves do not depend on anyone else. He has no gaps to fill, as he sees himself as a confident and accomplished individual.
You choose the person with whom you want to build your life, but you don't develop an obsessive or dependent attachment, you don't cling to them. Do not miss the pleasure of spending moments in complete solitude.
5 - Your love is always worth living
Love is an adventure that always deserves to be lived; if it is at the side of highly sensitive people, it is even more beautiful and incredible.
You give that sincerity that comes from the heart, which senses and pleases, which knows how to bring happiness to the maximum and who knows no lies.
Do not close the door of your heart due to failure. A life lived from the bottom of the heart has a lot to offer the world.
Image courtesy of Catrin Welz Stein
