Last update: February 18, 2022
Today we will talk about the 8 signs to identify envy and, therefore, envious people. To that end, we'll start by clarifying what envy is. We call envy that feeling or state of mind in which there is pain or unhappiness deriving from not possessing what others have, be it these goods, superior qualities or other things. According to Treccani's definition, envy is an "unpleasant feeling that one feels for a good or a quality of others that one would like for oneself".
Having now clearly understood its meaning, we invite you to ask yourselves: "How do I know if someone is envious of me?". Surely each of you would be able to answer this question in a very different way, due to the fact that each person already has a pattern of learned and internalized actions regarding that feeling, depending on your life experience.
Furthermore, the signs shown by a person who is a victim of this emotion can be very mild. The trick is to notice if they recur frequently over time. If so, it will mean that this person you know is jealous of you.
8 signs to identify envy
Here are the 8 most significant signs shown by an envious person:
- It clips your wings. Let's suppose that something beautiful happens to you and, full of hope, you communicate it to the person in question, who, however, will do nothing but avoid recognizing its importance, even devaluing it with phrases such as: "Ah, well ... buff, nothing what ... ". This happens because the fact of diminishing the importance of events or things of the people around us makes us see our reality better than that of our friend who has just played a lottery.
- He criticizes you in public. One of the most significant traits of an envious person is underestimating or making negative comments about yourself in front of others. You do not know where they come from, but in receiving them, you feel wounded in the soul.
- The forced celebration. Tell this person the great news and they get extremely high, going so far as to replicate your expressions of joy, your gestures, etc. However, you notice that his smile feels unnatural and forced, and you later realize that he is faking it. For what reason? So that the envy of him goes unnoticed.
- The phantom help. She tells you that she will always be by your side, both in good and bad times. It happens, however, that when you need it most, when you are about to get what will make you happy, this "friendly" person disappears with excuses. She wonders: "Then why did you tell me that you would help me if I needed it?". Although she promised you, she may not help you. Envy brings with it a lot of wickedness.
- It steals your credit. Another classic: assuming she helps you, in front of the rest of your friends she'll come up with a "without me, she wouldn't have made it".
- They constantly discourage you. A healthy friendship enjoys empathy, support and mutual care. In this regard, an envious person always has "but" or some phrases that make you pass every desire.
- Suddenly it disappears from your life. Everything is going great for you, in every respect, but overnight your friend or friend disappears from the face of the earth, without warning. You start seeing each other a lot less and always find excuses not to meet. What happens is your current happiness reminds him that his life is a great frustration, which he prefers not to change so as not to move forward, rather deciding to walk away.
- Criticize others. When your friend, in front of you, criticizes other people he has a connection with, he is sure that he will speak ill of you too. So ask yourself, then acting accordingly: "Why should I be an exception?"
What to do if there is some victim of envy in your circle?
The first tip is to employ empathy. It is very positive to stop and reflect on what led our friend to experience this very negative feeling, which is causing him serious emotional damage. Perhaps it may even be that we are behaving inappropriately with this person.
It is also good take into account his "negative" experiences and whether these could have led him to do so. If he is going through a difficult time, it is normal that he is not enthusiastic about our good news.
Another test to be recommended in such circumstances is to talk to this person about what is causing you discomfort or pain. Getting to understand each other is always the best thing in a relationship, whatever it is; far better than making assumptions, ending up judging your friend directly.
As a last resort, in case you find yourself on the defensive, it is good to put some distance, reconsidering that friendship. It may be that you are facing a toxic link.
