Teenage clutter is a problem that can stretch its shadow far beyond the walls of the home. Is it just laziness or is there more to it? How to fight teenage clutter without triggering drama at home? We find out in this article.
Last update: July 23, 2022
Adolescent disorder is a subject of discussion in all families. Many times it is due to laziness, neglect and even a lack of hygiene and cleanliness. What is certain is that the problem can trigger doubts in parents regarding the example and education they believe they have given to their children.
The adolescent universe brings with it endless surprises and uncertainties. A bit like opening a series of Chinese boxes, without ever knowing what the next one will contain. The behavior of a teenager is often unpredictable and it is not always possible to prevent or anticipate it.
For this reason, many parents are bewildered when their child enters adolescence, a wonderful but also controversial period. Thus, while a teenager tries to make his way into the adult world, the parents, while wanting to help him, are not always able to walk in the same direction as him.
Let's see below what happens when we are faced with a fundamental stage in the development of our children: the adolescent disorder.
Laziness, imbalances and filth, the constant of adolescent disorder
During adolescence, different behaviors of children lead to critical situations and difficult family contexts. For example, refusing to clean and tidy up your room, the clutter they leave behind wherever they go, waking up too late or not wanting to do any of the activities proposed by the parents.
Always waking up late is one of the first behaviors that ignites conflicts with parents. From the point of view of adults, this is a clear sign of laziness. It is common for parents to try to solve the "problem" by forgetting that it is a biological phenomenon and not a behavioral disorder.
Testosterone and estrogen affect the circadian rhythm of adolescents by triggering this laziness, which is therefore not given by a gesture of rebellion. This does not mean that there are no lazy children, there is simply a transformation of the sleep rhythm mainly due to a purely hormonal issue.
Clutter in the room is another issue that parents try to tackle. In general, a teenager can go months without picking up a single sheet of paper that has fallen on the floor, a used glass left on the desk, a day-old jar of yogurt, or a pile of dirty clothes.
This disorder often goes beyond the confines of the room: clothes on the floor, dirty dishes, poor cooperation when it comes to setting or clearing the table heighten the sense of disorder and dirt that is attributed to teenage rebellion.
In an effort to end the dirt and disorder, parents tidy up, clean up and try to get their children to acquire better habits and customs. Many times they do it in an intrusive way, sparking teen anger.
Cleanliness and personal space: no entry!
In addition to matters of hygiene and cleanliness, even the management of one's personal space is part of the adolescent disorder, as a consequence of family dynamics.
As a child, the child always left the doors of his room open, even sharing toys, drawings, pencils and other objects spontaneously.
Once a teenager, the rules of the game change. The young man begins to nurture a very strong feeling of possession towards his own spaces and objects, especially towards his room, placing very strict limitations. For this reason, it is common for them to hang a sign on the door of their room that prohibits entry, preventing anyone from entering even for a moment.
The parents, for their part, exacerbate this attitude in an attempt to impose cleanliness and order in the room, sparking discussions and quarrels.
Hormonal decompensation: marking boundaries and setting limits
All the changes discussed so far are due, in most cases, to hormonal decompensation. In the male adolescent, the appearance of testosterone along with the hormone vasopressin lead the boy to defend his territory, delimiting their spaces and placing their room at the center of their world.
Vasopressin develops behaviors in the young that lead him to defend his spaces. This hormone bursts into the bloodstream triggering attitudes such as not wanting to let anyone into his room, to the bitter end of his friends or his favorite team.
Beyond the defense of the territory, the search for intimate spaces means that the adolescent begins to want to distinguish himself from the family context, enjoying his music, his television series, his books etc.
But it also means that he is trying to find his space to start explore your own body and the world of sex through masturbation.
Hormones, smells and… few showers
The shower isn't always a teen's best friend. While some guys bathe regularly, for others the opposite happens. Likewise, there are boys and girls who have their own body odor perfectly “under control”, while others do not.
Just as hormones affect the circadian rhythm and adolescent behavior, they also affect body odor and the love-hate relationship with the shower (or more generally, with personal hygiene).
Due to the action of androgens and estrogens, the odors become stronger. At the same time, the sebaceous glands are in a phase of intense activity. Thus, the face and other parts of the body, including hair, become fatter than normal. Sweat also acquires a deep, acidic odor in various areas of the body, including the feet.
To put it briefly, the adolescent's body abandons the baby's scent and multiplies odors and seborrhea, which is why the bathroom becomes a necessity, whether you want it or not. If in childhood the child could afford to occasionally skip the shower, during adolescence it is not advisable.
Although much of these smells have to do with adolescent sexual arousal, the result of this hormonal revolution is the production of odors that identify the male and the female. A characteristic that we also find in animals, which precisely through smells identify their fellow men of the opposite sex.
Tolerance, the key to tidying up adolescent disorder
While it cannot be overlooked that adolescent disorder is driven by the hormonal storms typical of that age, parents can still place limits on their children to make them more tidy and clean.
Parents need to be tolerant when it comes to being clean and tidy, with the awareness of how they are struggling with both behavioral and biological situations.
In general, young people think they know everything and have everything under control. For this reason, when they take blows, the thud is thunderous, even if in front of the parents they try not to show it. In fact, if there is a constant in the complex adolescent picture of a boy, it is the stubbornness in admitting the mistakes made.
In group games, triangulations are the order of the day in the teenage world. These are conflicting and dangerous social contexts for human relationships, which include the alliance of two members as opposed to a third. This combination often leads to conflict or the exclusion of the third element.
In conclusion, the important thing for children is to learn from the adolescent period. For this reason it is crucial that parents in this phase are teachers, patient, tolerant and understanding, beyond the signs with no entry, the disorder, the antipathy towards the shower and the rebellious nature. All of this is simply part of the process.
