Last update: 17 September, 2020
When we face a loving breakup, the pain and suffering we experience can be very intense. These feelings can even lead us to think that ending a relationship is an unbearable situation and that we need a quick solution. Some people actually try to start a new relationship right away to heal the wounds caused by a broken heart and evade the discomfort they feel.
Is starting a new relationship right after a breakup the best option? Is the saying nail drive nail true? Is bringing another person into our life the right cure for our pain? Given the unexpected consequences that this situation can cause, we cannot generalize an answer, but undoubtedly it is an option to be considered with caution. Let's analyze the theme.
Breakup of couple
Breakups are very common, they happen on a daily basis and for different reasons: jealousy, insecurity, lack of trust, different goals, different aspirations, lack of tolerance on the part of one or both partners, etc. There is a long list of reasons that can cause a relationship to end.
With the passage of time, society has changed. This has also favored a change in the way in which couples establish love relationships. Today it is not strange to know people who change partners frequently. These people don't even stop to wonder what is happening to themselves.
Fortunately, not everyone is like that. We understand, however, that the speed with which everything evolves, including love affairs, is typical of our age. It is possible that this is precisely the reason why the popular saying “nail drives nail” is taken so much into consideration.
Dealing with a romantic breakup is not pleasant at all, but necessary. It is a painful process, so you have to go through a series of phases or steps necessary to achieve emotional balance.
What happens to us when we end a relationship?
Anguish? Fear? Solitude? When we end a relationship we are hit by all these emotions and many more. A breakup of a couple necessarily implies changes. In turn, we need to manage the resulting uncertainty and heal the wounds of a broken heart. Things will no longer be the same, our routine will change and our days will be full of memories of the life of the couple now over. This new reality will make it difficult for us to successfully cope with the absence of the ex partner.
When we end a relationship, we lose the role we occupied in a person's life. Part of our identity fails with this rupture. A void is generated within us that we neither know nor want to manage. The pain caused by a broken heart often leads us to act without thinking.
For this reason, many decide to start a new relationship or adventure with the intention of filling this deep sense of emptiness. It is a way to soothe the pain caused by a breakup and a distraction from memories, good or bad they may be.
The pain caused by a broken heart often leads us to act without thinking.
The pain of a romantic breakup can be masked if we don't treat it
Starting a relationship immediately after a breakup can be a strong analgesic for the pain we feel. However, it's not necessarily a cure for a broken heart. A love breakup can be compared to a broken leg. If we took a pain reliever, we would feel less pain. We certainly wouldn't cure the real problem though.
So when we decide to start a relationship with a new person, we need to take the time to assimilate what happened. If we don't, we will introduce in the new report all the difficulties of the previous one, seeing flaws even where they don't exist. If, on the other hand, we give ourselves the time necessary to process what happened, we can re-examine our role with the new partner. This will allow us to cast out all negative feelings related to the previous relationship. We will thus be able to remember without rancor.
Otherwise, we may be tempted to make comparisons between the new partner and the previous one. We may also feel fear that the story will go wrong and this can lead to a lack of confidence and jealousy. All this because we did not take the time to heal the wound, to feel safe again and then “give ourselves” again.
If we don't take some time between relationships, in a short time the sadness will begin to surface because of all the memories of the previous relationship. You will get angry and we will repeat the same mistakes; In this way we will start the process of inner analysis that we should have carried out alone, not together with the new partner. This is unlikely to produce a healthy relationship. On the contrary, it can convert it into a toxic or addictive relationship.
Hammer drives out nail
After a break in love, you have to respect the time needed to assimilate what happened. Getting over the breakup doesn't mean forgetting your ex partner, but remembering him painlessly. Only in this way will we be able to start a new relationship in a healthy way, without chaining it to the previous one just so as not to feel the sense of emptiness or loss.
We can therefore say that it is difficult to say that a nail drives away a nail. A hammer is more likely to drive out a nail. Looking for a new partner will not make us get over the previous relationship. We have to manage the loss and the emotions that come with it. After that we will be ready to let a new person into our life.
“Man has two faces: he cannot love without loving himself”.
-Albert Camus-
