Last update: December 26, 2014
Over the course of our lives, we make various friendships: some very good, others more superficial, based only on moments of fun, and still others that we regret, as people we thought were true friends ultimately disappoint us.
Most people have suffered from such disappointments at times, because they have given too much to others and, when he or she needed it, received nothing in return. The friendships we make may end, and this creates distrust when we happen to meet new people for the first time. The ideal would be to learn from mistakes and find a balance between trust and distrust.
Being too confident could harm you, because you will open the doors to any person without filters that allow you to make a selection; but being too suspicious is also bad, because you will eliminate from your life many people who, perhaps, could have turned out to be true friends. Neither too much nor much: trust me, but with caution.
However, there is a friendship that lasts a lifetime and that will never let you down: it is what you will get for yourself. But how to turn yourself into your best friend? Think about how you behave with a friend you value very much, and do the same with yourself. Observe your behavior: sometimes we are very kind and understanding with others, we support them, we give them courage, we dedicate the best words to them to make them feel better. But do you do the same with yourself? Are the words you speak to yourself respectful and affectionate?
For example, imagine drinking coffee with a person you love, who tells you they had a bad day at work, because they made a mistake and now has to do it all over again. He tells you that his boss even yelled at him that it was a disaster and that such mistakes showed little competence and responsibility.
What would you say to that person who is telling you about this bad time at work? Certainly if you appreciate it you will try to make him understand that a mistake can happen to anyone, which is normal, and that does not mean that he is a less valid person. This is a mistake that anyone could make.
Ma what would you think if it happened to you? If your self-esteem is not strong enough, you may be thinking things like "I'm really good for nothing", "I'm a mess", "I do everything wrong", etc. Because if it happens to you you are so hard on yourself, while if it happens to a friend you are more understanding and think that a mistake can happen to everyone?
The basis is in affection: when you love a person, try to help and console him with the most beautiful words. If you do not love yourself, you will fill yourself with bad thoughts that will cause your confidence in your abilities to diminish more and more.
Whenever you experience negative emotions, ask yourself what you would say at that moment to the person you love most in the world, and apply it to yourself as well. What comes from the outside is not stable, you may find people who support you and trust you, but also other people who will turn their backs on you. If, on the other hand, you can create a good climate within yourself and become your best friend, you will have created a stable foundation for life.
What you so desire to find outside, you can find within yourself. Enjoy the people around you, but always with the certainty that you cannot pour out your unconditional trust in someone imperfect, which on the other hand all human beings are. If you give everything, you run the risk of being left with nothing, in case they let you down one day.
If you have a hundred liters of water in a well, give fifty to the people you appreciate; but if you give everything you will be left with nothing, and this will not be a sign of affection or appreciation, but only of dependence.
