Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Being emotionally strong has nothing to do with physical strength, but rather with endurance, with the ability to cope with ups and downs, with a flexible mind that can reinvent itself, face challenges with confidence, with courageous resolution. It is a valuable tool that we must develop to enjoy a better quality of life.
Lao-Tse said, and he was right, that the one who wins over others is strong, but the one who is able to conquer himself is powerful. Such an undertaking, whether we believe it or not, can take a lifetime. Indeed, some people progress through their life cycles without ever achieving this goal, this principle of personal growth with which to obtain a better perspective of oneself and of the world around us.
“Soft is stronger than hard. Water is stronger than rock. Love is stronger than violence ”.
-Herman Hesse-
Thus emotional strength provides us with adequate psychological resources to face any challenge. For this to happen, to be emotionally strong, we have to become aware of who we want to be and what we want in our life. Once our priorities are made clear, we will leave no room for insecurity or surrender.
How to be emotionally strong: 7 strategies to put into practice
Emotional strength is not acquired after a long journey or after embarking on a daring adventure in which to find a treasure, a grail. In reality being emotionally strong only requires proper inner work, a private, intimate and careful craftsmanship with which to mobilize adequate psychological resources.
We see below some steps with which to do this.
1. Self-awareness: 20 minutes a day of personal reflection
Just as we dedicate part of our day to playing sports, reading or watching TV, it would be advisable that we also “give ourselves” an interval of time to reflect, to practice self-awareness.
To be emotionally strong, we must learn to distance ourselves from everything around us in order to recognize our needs, delving into our deepest mazes and clearly perceiving what is bothering us, what worries us and how certain things affect us.
2. Accept negative emotions
For a long time they have convinced us that "we must be happy", they have told us so many times that in the end we have become addicted to positive emotions. Something like this somehow causes us not to tolerate or not understand the object of negative emotions.
Sadness blocks us, anger overwhelms us and we swallow one disappointment after another without knowing what to do with all these negative emotions… For their part, emotionally strong people accept these inner realities. However, acceptance is not synonymous with surrender, but the assumption of some inner facts that one must know how to manage and deal with.
3. Learn that obstacles are not walls, but challenges
The psychological resources that we will have to develop to be emotionally strong are not always easy or quick to absorb. A third strategy that can help us is giving a different meaning to obstacles. Talking about them with ourselves and with others as if they were challenges and not dead ends or threats.
Sometimes what at first glance seems like an ending is nothing more than a direct invitation to create something new, to cross a frontier that will bring new opportunities.
4. Demanding respect from others
Some people spend a large part of their life feeding on other people's attention. They need it like the oxygen they breathe, otherwise they feel helpless or lost. Enjoying the approval of others, the complacency of friends and family, they are able to validate themselves and fuel their self-esteem. This unhealthy practice prevents them from being emotionally strong.
We do not need attention, but respect, the same we offer to others, because in this way we all advance free, realized people who don't need others to tell them what to do or how to show themselves.
5. Remember that change is part of life
Emotionally strong people are very enthusiastic. They have a strength within them that encourages them to overcome themselves, to find new challenges with which to grow, to leave behind toxic environments, people who do not contribute to their well-being.
Change is part of life and what stagnates, remains still and trapped, ends up breaking, losing that wonderful enthusiasm. Let us therefore remember the value of change and the need to renew ourselves every now and then to be stronger in all senses.
6. Learn to thank
At first glance it might seem a little naive or even unscientific, but in reality thanking every day for what you have achieved, for what you have, for what surrounds us, is a very healthy exercise.
Try to keep a diary of gratitude, a notebook in which to recognize all the beautiful things in your life, which surround us and which in some way must always provide us with motivation and security.
7. The best day to conquer our dreams is always today
Being emotionally strong also means being able to fight for what you want without fear, without insecurities, without having to postpone today's needs to tomorrow. Let's face it, many of us tell ourselves that "one day" they will tell that person how much they like it, "one day" they will ask their boss for a raise, "one day" they will take that incredible journey, "one day" ...
But "someday" never appears on the calendar. We let time pass and life escapes us through the tubes of indecision or fear. Is it worth it? Absolutely no. We put together trust, self-esteem, determination and a few drops of courage to climb our dreams, to defend our needs.
In conclusion, being emotionally strong is a truly never-ending task. It is a daily job, a psychic tendon to take care of and to keep in training in every challenge, to be applied in every adversity and in every dream. It is an act of self-confidence with which to understand that happiness must be trained, that well-being must be cultivated with love and self-love.
