Last update: October 14, 2015
We come into the world as if we fell from a chimney. Immediately, we see ourselves linked to a series of people with whom we share blood, genes. A family to which we will be part, which will try to instill in us its values, more or less just ...
Everyone has a family. It's easy to have one: we all have origins and roots. However, the difficult thing is to keep it and know how to build it, to feed the bond every day to ensure that it remains intact.
We all have mothers, fathers, brothers, uncles ... sometimes large kinships with members with whom we have probably stopped having relationships. Should we feel guilty about it?
The truth is that sometimes we almost feel a moral obligation to get along with that cousin or uncle with whom we share so little interest and who have done us so many wrongs in life. There may be a bond of blood, but life does not force us to get along with everyone, so sometimes moving away or maintaining a bond of "circumstance" does not have to cause any trauma.
What happens when we talk about the family in the narrower sense? Of fathers and brothers?
Bonds are stronger than blood
Sometimes we tend to think that being a family involves sharing more than blood or family tree. There are people who almost unconsciously believe that a child must have the same values ​​as their father, share the same ideas and behave in a similar way.
We must be clear that our personality is not 100% genetically transmitted, some characteristics can be inherited and, certainly, sharing an environment also leads to sharing a series of dimensions. However, children are not copies of their parents, nor will they ever get their children to meet their expectations.
The personality is dynamic, it builds itself day after day and does not stop at the barriers that parents sometimes try to raise. From this sometimes disillusionments, disagreements, clashes arise ...
To create a strong and secure bond at the family level, it is necessary to respect differences, promote the independence of each person and their individuality, without putting up walls, without blaming every word or every behavior ...
Key points of families living harmoniously
Sometimes many parents see their children leave home without wanting to establish contact again. There are brothers who stop talking to each other and families who count the empty chairs left in the house.
What is all this due to? It is clear that each family is a world apart, with its guidelines, its beliefs and, sometimes, with closed windows, where only the people who are part of it know what happened in the past and how to live. the present..
However, we can speak of a general basic axis that can make us reflect.
- Education aims to give the world people who are self-confident, capable and independent, who can achieve happiness and who know how to offer it to others. How is this achieved? By offering sincere love, which does not impose itself and does not control itself. An affection that does not punish for how a person is, thinks or acts.
- We don't always have to blame others for what happens. You can't blame a mother or father for feeling unable to do certain things, nor that brother who, perhaps, has always been treated better than us.
It is clear that mistakes are always made when it comes to educating someone. However, we too must take control of our lives and know how to react, have a say, know how to say no and think that we are capable of undertaking new projects, new dreams with confidence and maturity, without being slaves to the family memories of the past.
- At times, we feel the moral obligation of having to continue to keep in touch with those family members who have hurt us, who make us feel uncomfortable, who continually judge us.
They are our family, it is true, but we must take into account that the really important thing in this life is happiness and the achievement of an inner balance. Inner peace. If that or those family members violate your rights, distance yourself from me!
Image courtesy of: Karen Jones Lee
