In this article, we take a psychological look at some people's habit of bragging.
Last update: July 06, 2022
Boasting is equivalent to attributing a value to yourself, but this habit is often accompanied by clues that contradict what has been proclaimed.
It is legitimate and even healthy to recognize one's merits and qualities. The problem, however, arises when this attitude is excessive. When merits and skills are heralded and exaggeration is evident.
“Every man has three types of character: the one he really has; what he demonstrates and what he thinks he has ”.
-Alphonse Karr-
Whoever is immersed in this mechanism is not aware of it, rather the opposite. The person believes that promoting certain ideas or values ​​by taking himself as a model is a crusade.
After all, his intention is not so much to convince others, as much as persuade herself of the truthfulness of what was stated. He will try to demonstrate what he has proclaimed with concrete actions and arguments.
Boasting of qualities not possessed
The one who may appear to be a charlatan who brags too much is actually a person trapped in a definite defense mechanism. This mechanism is known as reactive training and consists in adopting a behavior to avoid a repressed desire.
In other words, the person wants something that seems unpleasant to them. And to defend herself from that unconscious impulse, she forces herself to do the opposite.
This is the case of those who would like to eat until they are satisfied, but they believe that this desire is reprehensible because they can get fat and be rejected. So they fanatically promote diets and denigrate junk food.
The same goes for those who harbor very intense sexual desires, but consider them sinful and for this reason organize a crusade in the name of chastity.
Much more common is the case of people who go out of their way to pay attention to someone they basically hate or despise. The individual in question does not lie or pretend deliberately, but unable to recognize their feelings a cause of self-imposed moral censorship.
Reactive training can be directed at a specific aspect, such as order or hygiene, but it can also become a role model that fits into the personality.
In this case, a “false personality” is formed in which practically all the actions of an individual are aimed at making the mask worn credible. Bragging, therefore, becomes a mechanism for convincing oneself and others to be in a certain way.
Brag to appear different
A conscience hinders the expression of desire extremely rigid morals or an external command that you fear to transgress. This is why there is a tendency to brag about what you don't have.
An indicator of reactive training is the emphasis or exaggeration of words or actions. The unshakable "No" or the particularly emphasized "Yes" are signs of a repressed and contrary desire.
Nowadays, social networks are a prime example of this mechanism. Sometimes it feels like they have been designed just so that each person proves that they are different.
Smiling photos, even if you are not happy. Bragging about travels, jobs, achievements that you don't really believe in. Reactive training can shape an obsessive personality. He pretends to be different or to share certain thoughts; advocating self-deception, however, requires you to always be on the lookout.
Constantly monitor your conduct so as not to leak clues to the reality of the facts. Such a situation can become overwhelming, because the repressed desire will resurface and one will feel besieged by it.
Who are we really?
In an attempt to suppress an unconscious desire that you don't want to accept, it's easy experience great distress. An enormous inner tension is generated, between what you want to express and the enormous effort to "keep it at bay".
Rather, ask yourself who you really are and what do you want from life? Sometimes we pretend a very different full life to feel important and thus fill an inner emptiness. But why not get what you want? Perhaps out of fear, insecurity or sheer laziness. It is essential to sit down and rethink your life.
If we are unable to connect with ourselves, our strength may decrease and we may develop compulsive behaviors. We must not ignore our desires, as they become harmless only when we acknowledge them; once this is done, we can consciously decide whether or not to fulfill them.
Conclusions
An exercise in sincere and unprejudiced introspection it will help to connect with your inner self. Knowing yourself it will be possible to fill that void that leads to bragging about something that does not exist.
When your conduct is consistent with your thoughts, you won't feel the need to brag to get attention. We will break free from the mask and be free.
