Self-compassion has been shown to promote a healthy lifestyle and a more positive attitude.
Last update: February 18, 2022
Self-compassion is a concept that is interpreted in different ways. Its meaning in psychology concerns the ability to be less critical and more forgiving of oneself, which favors a more realistic view of one's situation.
It is about the ability to empathize with oneself, to be kind to oneself, without criticizing or judging oneself for mistakes, actually helping oneself to maintain motivation; without getting too excited about a success and without making a drama of failure, in everything that is done or not done anymore.
Self-compassion is a skill of emotional, reflective and nurturing intelligence. It allows us to open a gateway in ourselves to get to know each other, to take care of ourselves and to give value to everything that happens to us. Through it we look at ourselves.
It is not always possible to achieve what we want or to meet the expectations we set ourselves. For this reason, when we do not accept a certain reality, suffering appears in the form of stress, frustration and self-criticism.
On the contrary, by accepting that reality as part of the dynamics of the life of the human being, positive feelings will arise in us - such as compassion - that they will help us to fully experience every situation.
The lack of compassion for ourselves
When we do not feel compassion for ourselves the following can arise in us:
- Anger and difficulty in getting in touch with ourselves, which results in isolation.
- Irresponsibility: It is about blaming others for their suffering. We have a point of view on life that is either black or white, without nuances and with great difficulty in accepting the ability to change the present which, in reality, depends only on us.
- Contempt: it is the feeling of inability and vulnerability, accompanied by the language and non-verbal expression that denote it.
- Lack of hope: We find it difficult to enjoy the moment and think that better times will come.
- Lack of goals: we feel lost. We do not find the meaning of life.
When we are lacking in self-compassion, it is difficult to remember that from every life experience it is possible to make the best of moving forward and that this will help us when we find ourselves facing similar situations again in the future.
Compassion and self-compassion
Compassion comes from the perception of the other's suffering, which occurs by maintaining an open attitude, without judging the experience. In addition to perceiving suffering, it consists in letting oneself be touched by it and in having a spirit of initiative, in an attempt to alleviate it.
Compassion is the ability to offer kindness to those who suffer, giving a hand to those in need; for this we must let ourselves be involved in errors and weaknesses.
Self-compassion is the same attitude of help and understanding, but this time aimed at ourselves. We can understand this concept based on the following elements:
- Kindness, which could be understood as the ability to be understanding and empathetic towards ourselves whenever we feel inadequate, incompetent, not very assertive, etc.
- Humanity. It has to do with the ability to avoid isolating ourselves when we suffer; to think that many people are facing the same situation, to understand that mistakes, imperfection and pain are part of the experience and of the human being.
- Full attention. The ability to openly observe our experiences, with objective eyes and without judging ourselves. To live by being balanced towards emotions, without denying or repressing pain and without identifying only with it.
Self-compassion is closely associated with resilience, which is the ability to overcome trauma and come out stronger. Consequently, it is about the ability to calm down, to recognize our mistakes and to learn from them.
This ability is associated with emotional well-being, optimism, satisfaction with one's life, autonomy and wisdom; it also helps to reduce anxiety, stress and a sense of shame.
Benefits that come from self-compassion
Always proving to be very demanding and critical of ourselves when things do not go as we hoped, the malaise is greater. This is due to the standards of perfection that we set ourselves, which increase feelings of frustration and inadequacy.
PBy means of self-compassion we can evaluate the treatment we reserve for ourselves when things are not going well; and we can do this through an act of self-compassion, in which to put aside the feelings of guilt and judgments.
Self-compassion helps us to respect and empathize with ourselves, based on self-preservation, instead of criticizing ourselves whenever we suffer or when we feel we have failed.
People with high levels of self-compassion show a more positive view of their problems, feel less isolated and may experience a reduction in their anxiety levels and a greater awareness of personal problems.
Self-compassion allows for a greater ability to manage negative thoughts, with the development of the ability to regulate one's emotions. It also increases positive emotions and helps establish a connection with society, as well as feel fulfillment for life.
Finally, it is possible to maintain a positive point of view and demonstrate greater emotional flexibility, related to a greater spirit of adaptation to changes.
