Negative and adverse events happen every day. Before them we have only two options: to let ourselves be trapped by helplessness or to rethink the circumstances to begin to face them.
Last update: June 25, 2022
Winston Churchill said that "kites fly higher against the wind, not with the wind in your favor". Maybe so, maybe we should learn not to let ourselves down when adversity hits us unexpectedly. But how to do it? How to reinterpret negative circumstances when?
The self-help literature reminds us that adverse or simply unpleasant events make us stronger. This approach is almost always based on spiritual or Buddhist currents, but even those who are not used to it will recognize that it is essential to overcome difficulties.
The key is not to get trapped in perpetual suffering. We can all develop adequate skills to cope with the complexities of life. No one is immune to suffering, at some point we will all go through that fateful one.
If we use a relaxed, balanced and solution-oriented mental approach, we will have a better chance of overcoming the dark days and gray moments that life presents to us.
How to reinterpret negative circumstances
Unfortunate events become problems when we approach them from two clearly wrong approaches. The first is to deny that the adverse situation exists or affects us. The second is to become obsessed with that reality and not be able to appreciate or adopt other perspectives and approaches.
As Viktor Frankl pointed out, between the stimulus (problem) and the reaction there is an intermediate space that should allow us to choose a type of response.
Likewise, there is another undeniable fact: when our surroundings are particularly difficult and adverse, it is common to feel helplessness, anger and sadness. All emotions are legitimate, but it is necessary to direct the emotional knot towards a valid and adequate response.
In other words, we must learn to reinterpret negative circumstances. In the following paragraphs we see some useful strategies in this regard.
1. Reformulation of the negativity bias: not everything is negative nor will it always be negative
The brain tends to apply negativity bias to almost all circumstances. This mental filter makes it difficult for us to make an objective judgment on reality and makes us see everything in a problematic way.
As psychologist and Nobel laureate in economics Daniel Kahneman tells us, we have an innate tendency to prioritize negative events as a reaction mechanism to ensure survival. It is a warning system that has been useful to us in the past, but is usually highly damaging today.
The research work carried out at the University of Glasgow recalls this. For our brain, the negative aspects will always have more relevance than the positive ones. And this can make us fall into ideas like "this has no solution, things will get worse and worse, it's a disaster".
It is important to know how the brain reacts to negative events in order to take control of our thoughts. The ideal is to feed ideas such as “what happened is not pleasant, but it won't last forever . I am confident in my abilities to solve it, I have the tools to accept and face this experience ”.
2. Flexible mind: change is part of life
To reinterpret negative circumstances, one aspect must be taken into account: sometimes we just have to accept the adverse event. Nothing more. Sometimes it is not in our power to be able to change reality.
It is important to understand that changes are part of life and that it is necessary to accept them to start a new life phase. We can only succeed if we adopt a flexible approach, an open mind that does not stagnate or fight against what cannot change.
3. Relaxed and centered understanding (control of negative emotions)
When fate presents us with something that we did not expect and that creates confusion, it is common to be immersed in the labyrinth of negative emotions. It is common to try them for a specific time, but they don't have to become a constant in our life.
It is essential to remove dimensions such as guilt, anger or frustration from our minds. Only a relaxed mind is able to discern more innovative solutions to challenges.
4. Seek help to reinterpret negative circumstances
When life turns gray, we remember that we are not alone. We avoid isolation, do not talk about the problem so as not to feel bad or hide what hurts so as not to attract attention. They are not good solutions to problems.
If you want to effectively reframe adverse circumstances, it is recommended that you seek support. Sharing time with important people and venting thoughts, emotions and needs.
5. Decision and proactivity: passivity stops us where everything hurts
Nobody chooses the negative circumstances they will face, but we have the opportunity to choose how to act in the face of what happens. We have the full right to be immobilized for some time.
Each jolt hurts and it is advisable to curl up to process what happened and allow the mind to accept the new situation.
After hitting rock bottom, it's time to go up and for that you need to be proactive. It is not appropriate to stay in the same place where everything hurts.
We have to go forward, look for solutions, shape a new ego that is more innovative, self-confident, solution-oriented and not stagnant.
As the Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke said, it would be a question of transforming a wall into a staircase. This is the secret.
