Last update: July 27, 2016
If asked, most of us would say that he hates lying and cannot tolerate deceit and lies. In general, we approach the issue from a moral point of view and, therefore, condemn any behavior associated with untruth. The curious thing is that almost all of us lie from time to time. “Harmless lies”, we call them, to belittle the attitude we criticize so much.
The following question may surprise you: What would happen if no one in the world told more lies? For example, you come across someone you know who says to you: "How bad you are!" or your boss who receives you like this: "I think you are stupid and I'm just waiting for the right opportunity to fire you" or again, you invite someone to dinner and at the end, instead of thanking you, he says: "You cook from disgust. Never ate more bland food ”.
These are some of the cases of brutal sincerity that would eventually be regarded as rudeness. Just as we say we don't like lies, we must recognize that we don't like certain truths either. The fact is that there are cases in which lying is not deceiving, in the moral sense of the term, but avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
Does it make sense to lie?
As with all human behaviors, the most important thing is not so much the attitude, but the intention behind every gesture. There are those who struggle to be totally honest and go around "revealing the truth" to anyone, in a reckless way. We should ask ourselves if, in reality, the intention is really to tell the truth or to hurt by using a moral pretext.
Likewise, there are people who lie with a laudable intention. Some time ago, a reporter reported that his mother was unwell and the doctor called him aside to rule on the diagnosis, pancreatic cancer. The man insisted that the doctor not reveal it to her mother, in fact, being a highly impressionable person, the news would upset her.
The doctor, true to his ethics, told the woman what the diagnosis was. She had a nervous breakdown and a week later she died of a hypertensive crisis. The fear and suffering caused by the news were so unbearable that it caused even greater harm than he would have suffered if he remained ignorant.. Sometimes lying helps, at least until we find the best time to tell the truth.
A lie should be valued only when you consider the reason behind it and the consequences it entails. If the intention is to avoid a greater evil, then the most logical thing is to put aside the moral question and focus on the practical effect of truth.. Not always lying is reprehensible.
Lying to benefit
If the goal of lying is to satisfy a selfish desire or to derive some benefit, then the situation is quite different. In this case, the lie has the value of a manipulative tool. Truths are omitted or distorted with the aim of putting the other person in a condition of vulnerability, the vulnerability that manifests itself when you do not know information that is directly relevant and that you should know.
These lies only help those who tell them. Instead of avoiding unnecessary suffering or conflict, they do nothing but favor these situations. The same happens when you lie out of fear of facing a truth or taking some responsibility. More than a way to control a situation, it is like a poison that contaminates everything.
There is also another kind of lies used in therapy. These are those phrases that are not verified, but that a person constantly repeats himself to operate in terms of self-suggestion. For example, saying to yourself “I'm fine and I'll be better”, even if the facts show the opposite. In this case, it is a mechanism similar to that of an advertising slogan whereby "a lie repeated a thousand times can become a truth".
Sometimes we self-deceive ourselves in order to endure a bad time or because we are simply not ready to face a truth. The bad thing about this mechanism is that it is not always aware and sometimes we end up believing these lies and clinging to them.
Thus, while lies may undoubtedly help in certain circumstances, in the genuinely pertinent aspects, the truth helps most. One way or another, one must never forget that lies have a price. If you tell someone who cooks badly, that you don't like his dishes, you'll have to keep eating them; if you tell a more serious lie, the price can be higher and the lie in question can end your relationship.
