Last update: April 19, 2017
Starting a relationship means writing a new chapter in the book of your life. This implies having learned the lessons of the previous chapters in order to make the most of reading the new one. However, this does not mean that we must block ourselves in the previous chapters, like those who hold the brake for fear of what may happen.
Sometimes we face very common problems when we need to start a new relationship. Depending on how the previous ones were we will be more or less cautious, more or less prudent. We grope in the dark uncertainty of the new challenge that life presents to us.
Far from turning into a spontaneous and natural act, falling in love turns into a risk. Fear grabs our hand, whispers in our ear the future risks related to past problems and paralyzes our spontaneity and enjoyment. Leave them aside. It overshadows them in an unfair way both to us and to the person who has just arrived in our life.
Before starting a new chapter, let's conclude the previous one
Spontaneity, pleasure and peace of mind are often buried waiting to be brought to light. Because? Perhaps because the fear of repeating old mistakes appears. Of choosing badly, of not knowing how to predict the signals or of not interpreting them correctly.
For all of this, it is necessary to allow time for the past to rest (as far as possible). So that all those teachings are filtered out and the lessons learned from them have been assimilated. When we make one relationship follow another, we do not allow the necessary time that our heart needs to understand the experiences it has lived through.
Especially in cases where the past relationship has been toxic and harmful, we need to be able to find a space in time to understand what a particular relationship has taught us. Blaming others for our responsibilities never helps. For this reason, it is always important to have an honest and sincere dialogue with yourself.
When we learn past lessons, we choose better
The following chapters will be lived in a freer way and without much dependence. In this way, people will come into our lives in a more natural and less forced way. When the heart is calm and has learned the lessons of the past, it is willing to embark on a new adventure with a healthier and freer spirit.
"We should use the past as a springboard and not as a sofa"
-Harold MacMillan-
The mistakes of the past will help us to be able to better choose the person to have next to us. Obviously we don't want to experience what made us suffer again. Certain wounds will make us choose one person over another.
Uncertainty is part of life and cannot paralyze us
From that clear, pure and healthy place we will be able to better choose our new partner. It will not be attachments or dependence or shortcomings that choose for us. It will be our healthier and more complete self to do it, and will choose someone who enriches us, who brings us light and calm with his presence.
Learning the lessons of the past is essential to continue walking along the path of our life. The uncertainty about the success or failure of the relationship must be accepted as part of our existence. But it will rise on a wiser and less chaotic self.
It is good to be cautious and have a certain respect towards what is approaching, but also to give a certain margin to life so that it surprises us with its becoming. Because of this, close chapters, learn their lessons and start new ones with enthusiasm and passion. Only in this way will you be able to embrace all that will come.
