How can we cope with the changes? What strategies can help us manage them? Today we will give you 4 key concepts, in line with the advice of some renowned experts.
Last update: December 03, 2020
There is a phrase that reads: “life is like riding a bicycle: in order not to fall, you have to pedal”. In fact, reality shows us this every day: we always find ourselves having to face the changes caused by different situations that involve us, with relative losses to learn to manage.
But how can we cope with the changes? It's easy? What tools can help us? Experts from different sectors (psychology, life-coaching, business consultants ...) gave their opinion and we turned to some of them to identify some potentially useful strategies in managing change.
How to deal with changes
Whether in the workplace, school or private life, changes are normal (even if their magnitude can make a difference) and they happen almost every day. Learning to manage them can help us grow.
Still, it's not always easy to adapt to the new situations that life offers (especially if they are unexpected). How can this be done? We are going to describe 4 fundamental concepts that can help you in this enterprise.
Work on acceptance
Life offers us an infinite number of experiences, but also numerous obstacles to face. While a period of change doesn't necessarily have to be bad (indeed it can be an opportunity), it can represent a concrete threat to our stability. Change is undoubtedly unpleasant and annoying, moreover it requires a reorganization of one's reality.
For this reason, accepting them offers several benefits. Adapting to the new reality day after day, accepting defeats when they come and focusing only on the present is the right approach.
César Piqueras, executive coach, instructor and writer by profession, also talks about the importance of accepting change. As he himself states: “when we accept, we choose the path of wisdom, because anger and complaints no longer exist. There is only acceptance ”. In the acceptance phase, there is no repressed energy or resignation, but openness to what is about to come, that is, change.
Accepting is a way of saying “okay, I accept that this is the case, I will not resist.
-Cesar Piqueras-
With an eye to the future to face the changes
Psychotherapist Demián Bucay states that in situations of change it is possible that the gains outweigh the losses, even if that doesn't mean not feeling pain for what we have left behind. Feeling pain is normal when we have to accept that a phase of our life has ended.
Therefore, looking forward can help us focus on the situation with greater serenity and awareness. The past will not return, but we have the present at our disposal (sometimes full of opportunities), which will allow us to build our future little by little.
The future depends on what you do today.
-Gandhi-
Change
CĂ©sar Piqueras states that there are 4 ways to deal with change: 1) Resist and complain; 2) Resign; 3) Accept and 4) Change. The most adaptive strategies are the latter two, so we will focus on them (although resigning can, in some cases, be an adaptive mechanism).
We have already commented on the acceptance strategy. As for the second, the one that favors change, Piqueras argues that it is more profitable to abandon complaints and resignation. On the contrary, we progress when we are willing to change what we don't like.
So, as repetitive as it may seem, another adaptive strategy is to deal with change by acting on what we deem necessary. Certainly some changes leave us little room to change the course of events, but this is not always the case; we leverage on them, we can opt for a change of our point of view on events or change ourselves.
If a change overwhelms us, we need to find ways to change too, so that this change is positive.
-Cesar Piqueras-
Be aware to face the changes
Ignacio MartĂnez, business coach, remembers that it is important become aware of the objectives to be achieved with the aforementioned changes. In the case of changes that we have not personally chosen, we should allow ourselves to feel everything that the new situation causes (sadness, anger, anger ...), and start working on acceptance when we feel. ready.
MartĂnez also points out that it can help to consider the consequences if we decide not to change anything, as well as to focus on the opportunities offered by the new reality or the new context. Although it mainly speaks to us about the business environment, we can apply this strategy to other situations.
The first step towards change is awareness. The second is acceptance.
-Nathaniel Branden-
Elasticity and awareness
There is no single way to deal with change, and each person must find their own (or use both depending on the situation). Beyond that, not all life changes are the same: some are vital, like emigrating or losing a loved one, and others have less impact, for example changing gym, changing friends.
In any case, what matters is the value given to each change and how you decide to face the new reality. Having the necessary tools can help us on this journey of life that requires mental elasticity, as well as a good dose of awareness and, above all, understanding that life allows us to write a new beginning every day.
Giorgio Nardone, expert in brief strategic psychotherapy, and Paul Watzlawik, psychologist and philosopher, affirm the following: any change is a path, an art form, a continuous flow of thoughts, feelings and emotions. And in this flow (and becoming) we win when we focus on a flexible, aware and open gaze.
Whatever change overwhelms our life, it will involve all our internal structures, cornerstones, bonds, fears, hopes, illusions and disillusions.
-G. Nardone and P. Watzlawick-
