Many think that patience is that questionable virtue that leads some to endure any adversity, saying almost nothing. But this interpretation is inaccurate.
Last update: February 09, 2022
Cultivating patience is an art, especially in modern times characterized by haste and stress. The term "patience" derives from another more universal: "peace".
If it breaks down, we could say that it is the "science of peace". Over time there has been a certain alteration of the original meaning of the word.
Many think that patience is that questionable virtue that leads some to endure any adversity, without saying almost anything. But this interpretation is inaccurate.
It is a perspective that understands patience as a passive virtue, when in reality it constitutes an element that requires us to resort to many of our emotional resources.
Although patience involves keeping calm during difficult times or in the face of offense, it does not mean "stand still" and "hold on" to exhaustion.
Impulsiveness and patience
Inside each of us there is still a mammal, more or less predator. When the temper is not tamed, we tend to be impulsive.
We react quickly to attack or defend ourselves, without being clear about what we intend to achieve or the strategy we will use to do so.
Sometimes we can't even define exactly what the threat that produces such reactions in us is. Patience is the opposite extreme of impulsivity. It is not a state of passivity, but rather a response based on wisdom and not on what our guts shout at us.
The kind of peace that leads to patience is mostly internal. It presupposes a sufficient degree of equilibrium to curb the primary impulses and replace them with a slow path of analysis.
This inner peace will require a great inner cultivation of an understanding, empathic and patient mind. A mind that, despite what is happening out there, knows how to stay calm.
While patience leads us to be assertive (saying what we wanted to say, doing what we wanted to do and thinking what we wanted to think), theimpulsiveness leads us to make mistakes.
We end up aggravating minor problems, creating distances where there should be closeness, and saying what our impulse commands us to do, instead of what can do everyone good.
That's why the patience is among the great universal virtues that even the most daring warriors have cultivated throughout history.
Cultivate patience
Nobody is born with the virtue of patience. On the contrary, the child wants what he needs and now. He does not have the sense of expectation or the intellectual or emotional tools that allow you to postpone a desire. Growing up, therefore, is closely related to learning the meaning of patience.
To achieve this goal, in principle, it is a question of refusing to react immediately. Sometimes a few seconds make the difference between acting erratically or behaving intelligently.
As the sage Shantideva states: "When I see a friend or an enemy doing something wrong, I will remember that it happens due to circumstances and I will remain calm."
Shantideva presents us in this way that the understanding the circumstances of a situation will lead us to strengthen our patience.
It's a workout. The more we train, the more patient we will be. The more we get into the habit of waiting a moment before responding or acting, the more easily we will insert this command into our brain, forcing it to reason.
Deep breathing is always an easy resource, which we always have on hand. To cultivate patience, it also helps to convince yourself in your heart and mind that you are in control of yourself.
That everything we do and not is exclusively our responsibility. That everything that happens will depend on our way of acting.
Final reflections
By keeping this in mind and with a pinch of hope, we can cultivate patience. Remember that everything in life has a beginning and an end.
Just as moments of happiness come and go, adversity or sad moments are also not eternal. Patience helps make any problem more manageable, less lasting and to have more controllable consequences.
If we begin to shift the focus to controlling our emotions, we will begin to control patience. Instead of giving others the power to get on our nerves, we decide to be calm or angry.
When we are aware that we have the power to remain calm despite the events, we will have taken a very important step. A step that will lead us to enjoy a much more peaceful and serene life.
