Last update: October 26, 2018
Motherhood is a unique experience that makes you grow and have fun. It is a period full of emotions, a vital stage of happiness, fatigue, changes and expectations that we must learn to control. Coping with motherhood it means living an overwhelming experience and enormous satisfactions.
When you are expecting a baby, you often sense the changes in the pipeline and think you are prepared, but the truth is that most moms are caught off guard. The arrival of a baby generates positive emotions like happiness and hope, but at the same time it breaks down many routines and priorities. It is a disruptive phase. For this reason, it is very important to know how to best deal with motherhood.
Feeling destabilized by such a big change doesn't necessarily mean you're not ready; it inevitably upsets us. Like all important things, it takes time to adjust to the changes that are about to occur.
Becoming a mother means taking on a new important role, and finding balance can seem almost impossible, especially in the first months. But it isn't. First of all, you need to be clear about your role in order to face motherhood fully.
How to deal with motherhood
There is no single way to deal with motherhood, indeed there are as many as there are mothers. There are, however, some issues to keep in mind, especially if we don't want moments of anxiety and despair to take over.
Don't be overwhelmed by the opinions of others
Motherhood is a phase full of pressures and prejudices, of stereotypes and criticisms that outline what is good and what is bad. What makes a mother good or bad. Do not fall into this circle ... only the pediatrician can tell what is good and with no.
Don't focus on what motherhood should be like, but on what it is for you. Give it a personal sense, do not build it on external criteria, otherwise you will hardly be able to enjoy it and feel at peace. Remember that at the basis of motherhood there is love, and love is always natural: follow your instinct and rely on personal criteria. Build your definition of mother and you will find the best mother for your child.
Co-responsibility
Mum and dad are distinct figures, but both are equally capable, fundamental and competent. If as mothers we feel that the couple wants the best for the baby, why can't we delegate our tasks to the father and don't trust him fully?
It often happens that the woman assumes all the responsibilities inherent in motherhood, not allowing the father to engage with the same intensity in the growth and care of the children. This is unfair. Why then do we complain about it? On the contrary, sometimes we do not perceive on the part of the partner the desire to make this commitment.
Both scenarios shouldn't happen. We abandon ease and resignation. The responsibility and care of the baby does not belong to a single person (in the case of two-parent families), and it is essential to equally divide the responsibilities that derive from motherhood.
Assertiveness
The people around you are always suggesting, repeating and insisting on how things are to be done. It doesn't matter if you've known them for five minutes or years, they all seem to know what's best for your kids. They even take the liberty of correcting or criticizing you.
Well, unless you can establish clear boundaries as soon as possible, the situation will not change. Parents are the only people responsible for the child's physical and emotional well-being. Find ways to clearly and politely express what is bothering you and let others know that you have to make the decisions.
Motherhood must be approached with respect, and not to let others hide their arrogance behind advice or opinion.
Avoid guilt
Guilt is an emotion that crops up easily among women in their first pregnancy. They feel guilty because they can't breastfeed, because they can't afford nursery school, because they arrived late, because the baby got sick, because they can't enjoy the moment, because they feel sad… An endless sense of guilt.
Guilt can turn into a dead end. It is not constructive, and it can hardly become positive. Replace it with responsibility and decision-making. If you think you are wrong, make sure you do better next time. If there is nothing you could do to avoid it, the responsibility is not yours and there is no point in feeling guilty. And if you are trite, irritated or feel you are not enjoying motherhood ... Stop. Analyze yourself. Get help and start over.
Time for yourself
Being a good mother does not mean spending twenty-four hours a day with the baby. Many times we do not allow ourselves to be separated from the child because we do not consider it necessary or because we think that leaving it in the hands of others makes bad parents.
Coping with motherhood successfully also involves not giving up on yourself as a unique and independent person. You don't have to give up your professional career, friends, partner or free time. No and No. It is enough to learn to organize and adapt to the new challenges that are looming on the horizon.
When you become a mother, you don't stop being a woman. You cannot give up on yourself and stop taking care of yourself. You cannot leave out other important areas of your life. In order to feel good as a mother, you must first feel good about yourself.
Happy parents will raise happy children. Do not abandon yourselves, therefore, because as much as motherhood can be beautiful and important, life goes beyond the role of mother.
Nothing compares
Motherhood is defined as a wonderful, unique and unrepeatable experience. It is the truth. What not everyone says, however, is that it is also a very hard phase where everything changes. We can feel overwhelmed, taken aback, fed up… And sometimes even alone and abandoned in a spiral of negative emotions, where other mothers appear much more beautiful, happy and contented.
Sometimes not all that glitters is gold. But even if that were the case, remember that every mother is unique and every situation different: in the field of motherhood and education there is no room for comparisons. Dealing with motherhood in a healthy way means feeling the protagonists of your own experience and giving your best, leaving aside the rest. We don't have to be conditioned by other mothers; motherhood is not a competition.
There are several ways to be a good mother
There are endless ways to deal with motherhood. The best way is to make it yours. Get rid of all unnecessary pressure and enjoy it in your own way.
A new person is about to come to this world to build his own. It is important to understand that insecurities, doubts and bad days are part of motherhood as well as life. It is also important to accept that not all the emotions that we are going to feel in such an intense phase will be positive. It would be strange if that were the case.
Motherhood is a raw jewel that is up to us to polish day by day. Let's not forget that before mothers, we are people. We are the central axis of our life, the pillar on which our children will build theirs. Sometimes it is enough to be generous with yourself to deal with motherhood in a healthy way.
