Deciding not to have children is increasingly common in today's world. This is usually due to socio-economic factors or pessimism. Only in some cases is it the result of difficulties in taking responsibility.
Last update: February 19, 2022
Deciding not to have children, as well as the other way around, is fine if this choice obeys a well-founded reason. A child completely changes the individual life and the relationship of the couple.
For this reason, it is a matter that only the single person can clarify and it is better to do it thoughtfully and without pressure of any kind.
It should be borne in mind that the decision not to have children is reversible, while deciding to have them is not. A child cannot be erased from reality, even if the parents decide to distance themselves or turn their backs on them. In light of this, it is difficult to be sure that you want to give birth to a child.
A child conveys feelings that no other bond elicits. It also involves inalienable commitments that last forever, unless you want to be a good parent.
Not everyone feels ready for such a deep bond with another human being, in these cases deciding not to have children is the right choice.
"Not all living beings with a womb must have children, just as not all human beings with vocal cords must be opera singers."
-Gloria Steinem-
Deciding not to have children and prejudices
It is important to note that until recently those who made the decision not to have children were frowned upon by society. In the case of men, in one way or another it was associated with a certain disability. In the case of women, it has long been understood as a sign of selfishness or extreme coldness.
While the number of couples who have children continues to be higher, the number of those who decide not to have them is also on the rise. Today, in fact, we are freer in making decisions of this kind. Procreation is no longer seen as an obligation in the life of every "normal" person.
We insist that the motivations behind it make this decision right or wrong. Despite this, it is also likely that the decision not to have children is increasing as a mechanism of adaptation to a world with hostile conditions.
Overpopulation leads us, in one way or another, to lean towards options that best guarantee our survival as a species.
Economic difficulties
One of the reasons why people decide not to have children is the financial situation. It has been found that the tendency not to have children is more prevalent among men of the most disadvantaged classes and women of the middle and upper classes who are professionally successful.
In both cases, one's economic condition is the determining factor. In one case, because circumstances do not allow to respect the commitments that derive from having a child in basic aspects such as nutrition or education. In the other case, because the profession absorbs the woman and is gratifying to the point of leaving no room for anything else.
It is surprising, however, that low-income women are not reluctant not to have children on a par with men in the wealthy classes. Probably, for them a child replaces the satisfaction they do not find in work.
And maybe they don't experience motherhood as a big change, as they do not intend their participation in such demanding pregnancy and education.
Deciding not to have children because you see the future with pessimism
The decision not to have children is also typical of those who see the future with pessimism. It is not necessarily a neurotic response to the vicissitudes of reality, but it is often due to an objective evaluation of many factors that weigh on humanity today. There are so many latent threats in today's world that it is difficult to look to the future with hope.
One of the indicators that society sees the future in a positive way is the increase in births. It happened after the reconstruction of many countries following the Second World War: the famous baby boom. Those were times when a new dawn was on the horizon, inviting us to bet on tomorrow.
Today, almost the opposite is happening. The news tells us of crisis, deterioration, decay. We move daily on a sea of ​​uncertainties and negative changes that take us by surprise. It is the ideal ground for reasonable pessimism, based on objective data.
Conclusions
When you decide not to have children, the important thing is that this choice is accompanied by a profound and healthy reflection. The same goes for those who decide to start a family.
Children must be the fruit of desire and are born first in the head and heart and then be a symbol of love for life.
