The lack of self-appreciation generates constant suspicion and the feeling of being attacked, despised or violated. This leads to bad talking about others.
Last update: 24 March, 2022
We cannot completely free ourselves from evil people, because they are often an essential part of them: family, friends. Far from letting ourselves be influenced or even tortured by their comments and thoughts, it is worth learning to deal with them. Defending ourselves from misguided people will help us keep a healthy and healthy distance.
But why do some people speak ill of others? Is it a disease, a distinctive personality trait?
The truth is that these profiles present a whole series of interesting traits to deal with. Knowing them will allow us to understand them.
“There are two sources of confusion: don't say what we think and don't do what we say. When we say what we think and do what we say, we become trustworthy ”.
-Angeles Arrien-
Negative thoughts and self-esteem
We already have an almost essential clue about misguided people: low self-esteem. Surely it has happened to everyone to meet someone with whom, despite having a close relationship, tends to be wary of what we say, of our words.
Psychologists Abalakina-Paap, M. Stephan, Winston Craig of the University of California explain in a study that the human brain is characterized by mistrust.
This is due to a very simple fact: we manage to be more cautious to ensure our survival. However, there are profiles that are more suspicious than others, which is why they are unable to build bonds based on trust and respect for those around them.
Distrust, the constant feeling of being cheated is based on low self-esteem. That feeling of being in a corner of the world where they are neither understood nor accepted by others. They feel misunderstood and this misunderstanding in turn raises a rudimentary form of self-protection in the form of distrust. The idea is "if I distrust people, I will suffer less".
Distrust and low self-esteem, the circle of suffering
Distrustful people sometimes interpret what others say or do as if they are plotting against them. Unfounded suspicions, insecurities, wrong judgments… Profiles that can sometimes fall into the paranoid.
Often it is It is also difficult to establish bonds of trust with these people, because from them we receive only distrust, reproaches, a stern look that thinks the worst of us.
Low self-esteem is compounded by a lack of closeness and affection. Any relationship in which strong emotions and closeness are contemplated is threatening to the cold and calculating mind of these people.
There is rarely tenderness, so they themselves fall into a kind of vicious circle: distrust - bad thoughts - people who avoid them - sense of loneliness - anger - distrust once again.
How to defend yourself from bad people
Sometimes these individuals can lead us to exasperation. However, we must try to keep in mind what prompts them to behave the way they do: lack of self-esteem, loneliness, low empathy, and essentially an inability to be happy.
On the other hand, there is an aspect that we must take into account. If such conduct is extreme and continuous, we are most likely dealing with a paranoid personality disorder. In case of problematic situations, specialized help should be sought.
Taking distance isn't always the only answer, even less so if the person in question is a parent or friend we see frequently.
If physical distance is not possible, we keep an emotional distance; in other words, we keep their words from hurting us.
Defend yourself from bad-thinking people to get better
In our daily life we ​​have to be careful not to fall into these dynamics driven by excessive distrust.
Thinking badly of others almost at all times ends up plunging us into absolute loneliness and also into suffering.
Let us also defend ourselves against those who dare to violate our psychological and emotional stability with their conspiracies and their constant distrust. Nobody deserves to live like this.
