One way to calm anxiety and get in touch with our most authentic self and its needs is to distance ourselves. We are not talking about getting on a plane, sometimes a walk in solitude is enough to calm the mind and see things more clearly.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: February 19, 2022
Sometimes distancing ourselves helps us see things differently and to get away from all that we do not feel close; in other words, to make better choices, to clear our ideas, desires, emotions.
Succeeding is not always easy, because most of us are deeply attached to immediate reality, full of stimuli and pressures. However, doing this distancing exercise can be extremely beneficial.
Most of us have the ability to distance ourselves almost immediately. We do this through our hyperactive but wandering mind, the same one that very often gets lost in its labyrinth of worries, circular thoughts and memories. These mental processes do not help, are useless and often cause us to sink into an emotional breakdown.
Psychologist and writer Daniel Goleman stresses the need to train attention in his book Focus. Strange as it may seem, one way to do this is to walk away.
The brain must be able to raise the anchor of the useless and present mental noise, to set sail towards a silent watchtower, from which the gaze can reach and focus on the really important things.
Let's find out how to do it in today's article.
"The control of emotional life, and its subordination to a goal, is the essential pillar for maintaining attention, motivation and creativity."
-Daniel Goleman-
Distance yourself is the key to deciding what is best for ourselves
From psychology, a new term is emerging that is worth keeping in mind: today we talk about self-distancing. It is an interesting concept that translates, for example, into a better management of stress and anxiety, in making more effective decisions and even in an exceptional enhancement of the creative process.
This technique is supported by a number of studies, such as the one conducted by the Department of Psychology at the University of California in 2018. Doctors Michael Duckworth and Al Kross have shown that the simple fact of relaxing our gaze in front of a relaxing but attractive landscape helps us to distance ourselves from immediate reality, to connect with ourselves. It is a self-suggestion strategy.
Taking your distance to change your perspective does not necessarily imply packing your bags. It is not necessary to travel miles to establish a physical separation from our everyday life and our environment. Sometimes, it is enough to train our mental distance to get the unexpected benefits of this practice.
The art of seeing the world through another person's eyes
If there is one thing that psychologists insist on it is the need to learn to live in the present. At the same time, it is important to tune in to our thoughts and needs.
Sometimes it is necessary to move away to look at situations with perspective, and one way to do this is look at ourselves and the world from the outside, as if we were another person, an interlocutor.
What does it mean? It is a mechanism that helps reduce the background noise of emotions. It is a way to talk to ourselves kindly, but without beating around the bush.
It allows us to analyze our inner world with objectivity, calm and full consciousness. To do this, nothing better than to go to a quiet place and have an inner dialogue that can follow this model:
- What do you worry about (we will say our name)?
- So what do you think is the thing you need now?
- What can you do to fix it?
- Remember that you deserve to be happy, you have to be brave. Everything will be OK.
Self-distancing is a way to deactivate self-centered speech for an instant and evaluate our reality in an emotional state that is calmer and more distant from the central ego.
Psychological distance as an instrument of well-being
Those who choose to distance themselves to change perspective do not need to move away in spatial terms, leaving for a journey to the other side of the world. Indeed, sometimes, leaving at the other end of the country does not help to escape from worries and problems. The distance we must seek is psychological.
This term is reported in numerous studies confirming its positive effects on mental health. Dr. Yaacov Thope, professor of psychology at the University of New York, has conducted an interesting study on this and in which he explains the following:
- Sometimes it is necessary to transcend our ego beyond the here and now. Bringing our mind to a state of calm, which allows us to relativize moments of stress and pressure. It is a way to distance ourselves from certain circumstances, behaviors or stimuli, so as not to be negatively influenced.
- This psychological distance allows us, in turn, to have a healthier dialogue with ourselves. We can do this by addressing phrases such as "do not be influenced by this thing", "think about what is best for you, choose something that makes you feel good" ...
Taking the distance to change perspective sometimes results in a different psychological balance. We can do it mentally, indeed, if we train periodically, we will be able to better manage the stressful situations of everyday life.
However, and as we all know, sometimes physical distance, taking a trip, can still be therapeutic and fill us with energy.
