Last update: December 09, 2015
If people are too heavy for you, start carrying them in your heart and not on your shoulders. Don't make their problems the burden of your life and don't turn them into a backpack you have to carry.
People are so much more. They are part of our life, but that doesn't mean they stop being the whole of theirs. For this reason, everyone has to bear their own weight and don't lean on others.
If we make ourselves responsible for our own existence, we will be able to solve our problems, understand our emotions and manage our conflicts without depending on anyone else.
The emotional parasites
Emotional parasites are those people who live at the expense of feelings, of the emotions and thoughts of others. They are not necessarily bad people, but they are people who live immersed in their own complexes and who are unable to improve their situation.
We can say that there are two types of emotional parasites. Let's see what they are together.
The dependent parasites
Some people become attached to a part of us and they do nothing but confide in us their sadness and their worst moments to find comfort. These people need us to unload their malaise with the world and, probably, when they are well, they do not make themselves felt.
This means that when these people are full, they forget who fed them. But when they feel the need to see their feelings valued again, then they come back. Usually, this behavior not only burns us inside and makes us feel used, but also infects us with its negative affective state and leaves us "exhausted".
Their tone of complaint, disappointment and pessimism is so habitual that they constantly ask for opinions to be pulled out of their misery. The lenses through which they observe life are so blurred that they make us question our view of the world.
Aggressive parasites
In addition to the addictive parasites, there are also those emotional parasites that they behave aggressively, exploiting their charm, their leadership skills and their persuasiveness through promises that cannot be refused.
It is about those people who deceive us little by little and thus invade our life. They demand more and more affection for their person, without stopping and without thinking about the emotional consequences on their victim.
In relationships, they only listen to their own needs and, even if they don't do it premeditatedly, they always try to hide their whims and the fact that their interests are more important than everything else. They reject every request of the person they exploit.
They ask and require affection and attention, making the situation increasingly unsustainable. In this way, a feeling of ineffectiveness and of little value arises that develops a state of insecurity and low self-esteem in the other.
As expected, this situation absorbs our energies, it downloads us and cancels us. Therefore, when we realize what is happening, we usually take some time to "detox", but as soon as we return to normal, we lose all energy again.
Get the parasites off your shoulders, go your own way
If you think there are people who weigh on your shoulders, the best thing to do is to analyze and reflect on emotional imbalances caused by these relationships.
Remember that emotional parasites transmit and infect us with their emotional state and it is therefore normal to feel tired and psychologically destroyed.
It is therefore important regain possession of all those personal needs that you had set aside in order to satisfy those of your parasite. Once they buy back, give them priority. This does not mean that you will stop loving the other person, but simply that you are protecting yourself from certain aspects in order to maintain your emotional balance.
You cannot feel incapable or guilty because you fail to meet the needs of the other. Each of us is responsible for our own life and the others are simply part of it, without representing the whole of that life. As they say, every wood has its own woodworm, and you don't have to impose on yourself the role of saviors, because each of us is responsible only for our own happiness.
Images by Erback Studios, Nicoleta Ceccoli and Anita Mejia
