Last update: 21 March, 2018
Fear is one of those forces that leads us to undertake great defense works or to become slaves. To build mechanisms to protect ourselves and face danger or to lock ourselves in and put a wall in front of the world. We need to face her so she doesn't grow out of control. Hence the proposal to do something that scares every day.
It is very likely that the people who love you will not invite you to do so, because they want to protect you. Often, in fact, they try to convince you not to expose yourself, not to risk and not to experiment the discomfort of facing fear.
“The man who is afraid without there being a danger, invents the danger to justify his fear”.
-Alain-
They do it in good faith. Fear isn't exactly a pleasant feeling, although there are many risk addicts these days. Under normal conditions, we experience it as a worry that we try to get rid of as soon as possible. The downside is that in this way we also end up building stagnant lifestyles.
Doing something frightening: getting out of the comfort zone
The comfort zone is any place where we have everything easily under control. It is another way of calling routine, the known, the familiar and, for this reason, everything that invites us to stay there and float, without challenging ourselves, without growing, without advancing.
Of course, it is very healthy to have comfort zones. Physical and emotional spaces that allow us to put worries aside and turn off the switch, to make decisions and enjoy the little things, with no pretense other than to rest assured. These spaces are absolutely necessary to digest experiences, assimilate them and rebalance us.
Sometimes it happens, however, that they operate like bubbles that end up taking us away from precious experiences. They act as shelters we never want to leave. They help to keep fears at bay, even those that we would have to face and overcome in order to grow or to reduce some suffering. This is why when we say to do something that scares, we basically invite you to leave your comfort zones.
Fear is everywhere
Fear, in principle, functions as a means of preservation. When it grows too large, it begins to invade people's souls like a weed. It has a very particular dynamic: it feeds on itself. Fear tends to increase, to grow by itself. Also, if you don't give it limits, it can increase disproportionately.
We all need a little fear to live, but we all also run the risk of succumbing to it. Which in fact often happens imperceptibly. We are afraid of speaking in public and we build a life in which we never have to, or we avoid any situation that may lead us to face this situation. It seems logical. What is not logical is that maybe in this way we are giving up small and large opportunities, solely on the basis of this fear.
This also happens with more relevant issues, such as suffering. We are afraid of suffering and, therefore, we give up a thousand good experiences in life to protect ourselves. Or we are afraid of loneliness and give up our freedom in order not to see ourselves exposed to this risk.
Doing something that scares you
The point is that there is no other way to overcome fear than to face it. In this way a dynamic also begins to operate in which the more one faces it, the more one feels courageous and able to do so. Courage also feeds itself.
When you decide to do something that scares you, you begin to discover other aspects of yourself, increases the self-confidence and also self-love. Being able to overcome these limits makes us feel good. However, it is clear that fear also has different levels. We cannot start with what terrifies us, because perhaps we are not ready and so, instead of nourishing our courage, we would end up being more afraid than when we started.
It can be effective to follow the habit of doing something that scares us every day. And to do that we can start with small fears. For example, if we are afraid of the dark we can stay a couple of minutes in total darkness. And come out a little stronger than before. Or simply walking somewhere we don't know and that doesn't inspire confidence.
You and only you know where to start. Will you try it?
