Anticipating events that have not yet occurred is a common form of suffering. Rather, we should commit ourselves to transforming our present; after all, real opportunities are created here and now.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
We should all learn not to anticipate the future. Think about it: we do not have a crystal ball nor do we have a temple at hand where the sibyls can whisper to us every day what will happen tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
Let's not do it, therefore, let's not anticipate the future and events that have not yet happened; nothing is more irrational than torturing oneself for an imaginary horizon, the result of a mental approach headed by anxiety.
We know, it is very easy to say, but it is almost impossible to control the automatic flow of thoughts. Maybe in terms of mental well-being it is the result of simple self-conviction, a snap of the fingers and the renunciation of actions and thoughts that cause us suffering.
Unfortunately, however, it doesn't work that way and it's common going through periods when you feel like you have been trapped in the maze of worry and the whirlwind of brooding.
Psychotherapist Albert Ellis, in his book Rational-Emotional Self-Therapy, states that people tend to acquire self-destructive habits throughout their lives, almost without realizing it.
Anticipating what will happen and imagining the worst is a particular habit of human beings. Deactivating this habit in our mental universe is not easy because it has been ours since we make use of reason. Yet it is possible to succeed; let's find out how.
Don't anticipate the future, change the present
When we understand that we have entered that vicious circle in which our thoughts do nothing but anticipate the future, we must take a deep breath and then exhale. Mindful breathing helps cling to the present.
We are made of flesh, bone and a brain that often runs faster than life itself. However, our body and mind need the here and now. We must breathe deeply and instill calm in the stomach, where the nerves are concentrated, giving balance to the numb muscles and peace of mind, affected by headaches that come and go.
The anxious mind has a hyperactive attention system that deforms everything and creates tension. We filter future events through negativity and our body fully activates to enter alert mode. Kind of like waiting for a threat; our senses sharpen and the body prepares for what is to come (be it real or imaginary). This is the reason for the muscular pains, the malaise, the almost constant fatigue.
Predicting the future is a devastating way to suffer. But then why do we do it? Does this way of thinking have any use? Obviously not.
Focus on the present by offering yourself what you need
Real life is about the immediate present, but we rarely inhabit this time dimension. The human mind is a tireless acrobat: it jumps from one point to another, passing from the past to the future.
Often it leads us to think back to yesterday, to focus on the mistakes made, on the missed opportunities, on the unfulfilled dreams ... A few moments later, with a sudden pirouette, it takes us back to the future to dance among the various possible scenarios, between what can happen and no.
It is necessary to train the mental approach so that it is bound to the present, to the here and now. Sometimes, however, reality can be complicated, delicate and delineated by constant uncertainty. What can we do when what we have before our eyes is steeped in difficulties? The answer is simple: we must give ourselves what we need. And we can do this in various ways:
- Don't anticipate the future, don't anticipate anything; focus only on the objective analysis of what happens and what you should do here and now to feel good.
- Sometimes the impending future calls for action. And in that case, you don't have to postpone anything. React, mobilize, transform, be proactive ...
- In other cases, strange as it may seem, the best thing to do is to do nothing. Just accept; accept that new reality and take care of it. How? Resting, accepting emotions, keeping calm.
Stop predicting the future and dare to build it
There are those who say that we live in an age of distractions and others in that of constant worry. Either way, it is undeniable that tomorrow worries us.
The obsessive habit of predicting the future is an almost desperate attempt by the mind to control everything. If I anticipate what may happen in the coming days or months, I can anticipate.
The problem arises when "I always prepare for the worst". Anxiety levels rise, and this cannot be a winning strategy.
Don't anticipate the future, live in the present
Stopping predicting the future should be our mental wellbeing mantra. The advice is to adopt another point of view: transform the present to make tomorrow more promising.
Focus less on what's going on in our mind and more on what's around us, here and now. It is precisely there that opportunities arise, where we are most needed. As Mark Twain said: "I went through a myriad of problems, but none of them actually happened."
Very often understanding that our thoughts are deceiving us helps to shift attention to what is happening before our eyes. We need the present moment and give us answers that include self-care, balance and calm, connection, creativity.
The art of controlling thoughts and focusing takes time and willpower. If we succeed, the effects will be therapeutic. Let us begin today to commit ourselves to this very decisive task.
