Last update: October 20, 2016
Don't get me wrong: I'm alone, but I don't feel the emptiness of loneliness. Don't feel compelled to pity me, don't put labels on me, and don't start looking for a partner for me. I am where I want to be. Because being alone is much smarter than sharing life with the wrong person.
As we can see, the solitude sought or necessary at certain times is an aspect that is very little understood by society. Even Aristotle said that only gods and beasts are fine alone. However, some XNUMXth-century French moralists, such as the Marquis of Vauvenargues, explained that loneliness is to the soul as diet is to the body: something that should be practiced from time to time.
“I am writing to tell you that I am freeing you from me, that I am amputating you from me; be happy and never look for me again. I don't want to know anything about you anymore and I don't want you to know anything about me ”.
(Letter from Frida Khalo to Diego Rivera)
Learning to be alone and to enjoy solitude every now and then is something that, in fact, we should all be able to do. In fact, those who fail, often have to face the heavy task of filling in spaces, healing fears and alleviating insecurities in the worst possible way: occupying the lives of others or clinging to the first person who passes by.
We are willing to do anything to defend ourselves from the devil of loneliness and the inability to be with ourselves, but it is not the correct behavior to assume. We invite you to reflect on it.
I'm alone, but I'm fine
"Now I am alone, but I am very well". This phrase, even if it is becoming more and more common, is often accompanied by the need to justify ourselves, to let people know that, even if we show ourselves alone, without a partner or someone else close, it is a pleasant solitude. An experience that pleases us, even if others don't understand it.
Times change, there is no doubt. However, the image of the single woman is not seen in the same way as that of a single man. It is as if time passes more quickly for women, as if they have to do everything as soon as possible to follow their socially imposed biological clock: you need to have a good job, find a good guy and, after a while, become super moms.
As we said, times change and women are no longer obsessed with this research; many prefer to be found, others set aside biological clocks to follow their personal mental and emotional compasses. Certainly they can feel complete with a partner, but if the relationship ends, they know how to move forward according to their personal direction, because they are responsible for themselves, because they are not afraid of loneliness. They find themselves with themselves, and this is always an act that heals and comforts.
You are not alone: ​​life surrounds you
When you have a single friend, always look for an opportunity to introduce him to someone. You tell him that being alone is not good, that it is always worth falling in love and that life is much more beautiful if you walk with someone's hand.
“Loneliness is often addictive. When you realize how much peace there is in it, you stop wanting to deal with people ”.
(Carl Gustaf Jung)
Your friend is likely to say "I'm alone and I'm fine" or "now is not the right time". Some of you will understand this, but most of her will look at her in amazement, because, in general, loneliness is not seen as a valid possibility, but as a temporary error.
If you think about it for a moment, you will realize one thing: in reality, you are never alone, life surrounds you. Many of us also have a group to which we belong: a family, friends, companions, etc. A partner does not always save from loneliness and is not there for that. Indeed, it sometimes brings you closer to the dark abyss of emotional loneliness for the first time.
No one is alone if he learns to love himself. We all live in our mind, because thinking, dreaming, projecting and feeling are anything but solitary acts. We are dancers in our inner world. We are healers of wounds, authors of forgiveness and architects of our destiny.
Do not misunderstand: being alone I do not feel the chained life, my hopes are not destroyed. I have stopped fearing fear, I am a satisfied tenant of my inner spaces and I wait for the future without anxiety, with the ability to enjoy the present.
Everyone should delight in moments of chosen solitude, when silence and inner peace ripen the fruits of the soul.
