The importance of emotionally emancipating oneself from parents is that only in this way can real personal autonomy be built. If this is not achieved, the past becomes a burden that hinders progress.
Last update: May 30, 2022
Emancipation from parents is not an easy goal to achieve, especially when the relationship has been conflictual or is marked by traumatic events. However, this release is one of the essential conditions for being healthy adults.
Oddly, i unhealthy bonds are often stronger than others. Unresolved problems or traumas weigh more than happy experiences. For this reason, on many occasions, emotional emancipation from parents also means facing painful experiences.
A person who is unable to emotionally emancipate himself from his parents carries the past with him as if it were a burden. No matter how physically distant you keep or never think about them, it is very difficult to feel at peace with yourself if you don't go through this essential step.
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."
-Milton Erickson-
How to achieve emotional emancipation from parents
1. Stop blaming them
Becoming an adult it means taking responsibility for your own life. This includes feelings, emotions and decisions. When you have a lot of problems with your parents, it is tempting to blame them for all the mistakes they make.
It is true that education determines a large part of our person, but it is also true that There comes a time when we become able to take charge of ourselves and our actions. This includes filling in gaps, overcoming traumas, fixing certain mistakes and all of which guarantees emotional independence.
2. Accept the parents
Very few people in the world can say they have perfect parents. Most parents want the best for their children, but they are not always good at identifying it. Furthermore, not everyone is ready to play that role of leadership and example.
The truth is that achieving emotional emancipation from parents presupposes the ability to accept them as they are and as they were. It is much more intelligent and liberating to try to understand and accept them, appreciating their best aspects.
3. Love parents
All loves are imperfect and so is that of parents towards their children. Sometimes they can't even manage to really love them because their emotional limitations prevent them. This is not due to malice, but difficulties that they have not been able to solve.
Loving is a way to emotionally emancipate oneself from parents. That love doesn't have to be intense, but real. The ideal is to base it on respect, consideration and positive thoughts towards them. It is a way to prevent resentment from continuing to gravitate to our lives.
4. Feeling responsible for the happiness of parents does not allow emotional emancipation
In many cases, children are unable to free themselves from their parents because they experience a lot of guilt. They understand them, they recognize their limitations, they love them and that is why they would like to give them the happiness they have not achieved by themselves.
Affection for parents is expressed by protecting them, but from this to feeling responsible for their happiness, there is a long way to go. Each person is responsible for their own well-being and parents are no exception. Like all human beings, they will never be completely happy and no one is to blame for that.
5. Be empathetic
Trying to put yourself in your parents' shoes is a cathartic exercise. Increase understanding of what they have done and what they have not done. It allows you to deepen their motivations and the obstacles they have faced, not only as parents, but also as individuals.
Being empathetic is another way to achieve emotional emancipation from parents. And not only that: it also helps to broaden one's perspectives. It allows to see situations from another point of view and this enriches self-knowledge.
6. Cultivate gratitude
There is always a lot to be grateful for, despite the mistakes they have made. Life itself is a gift they have given us, even if they have not been able to cultivate in the best way that life that has been entrusted to them.
Nobody becomes an adult alone. Certainly, many times our parents have looked after us, fed us, protected us from disease or danger and tried to make us good people. It is better to emphasize all this, rather than what they did not give us.
7. Recognize and accept the past to achieve emotional emancipation
The past can come back and keep us from leaving hatred behind. Nobody can turn the page and pretend that yesterday does not exist. The best way to place ourselves in the present, however, is to look back with a sympathetic gaze. Learn what it was and the reasons why it was so.
Appropriating the past is a necessary step to emotionally emancipate oneself from parents. This appropriation presupposes a reinterpretation of what happened in the light of what has been learned. It also allows full acceptance and responsibility for the consequences. The only step that follows is to grow.
