Last update: December 19, 2016
Envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins and usually goes hand in hand with destructive criticism of the envied. Devastating for those who suffer it and for those involved, this emotion is as common as it is harmful, and is usually accompanied by superficial and shallow affirmations.
Someone's envy takes time and focus to be discovered, since it is not a sentiment normally approved by society (in that case we can speak of “healthy envy”, understood however as a synonym of admiration). For this reason, those who experience it act silently, growing with the passage of time and leading people to rejoice in the misfortunes of others.
Sometimes, however, it manifests itself openly in the form of reproaches or appreciations that are not always received by the envied. This is because envy often hides behind confused forms of reproaches and destructive criticisms.
Envy arises from desire
Envy arises when you want something you don't have and when you feel a grudge for the successes of others. Unfortunately, it is a very widespread feeling that leads the person who tries it to feel diminished. In addition, we can affirm that this feeling is not addressed only to "unreachable" people, but also to people who are very close to us.
"Everything I do, as well as everything I stop doing, is motivated by a desire, whether I am able to identify it or not"
-Jorge Bucay-
This annoying sensation is usually generated by two typical tendencies of the human being: wanting what one cannot have and constantly comparing oneself to others. Envy, in fact, arises from greed and pushes the envious to a lack of empathy.
Furthermore, the negative reactions that the envious person produces within him usually lead him to isolation or to have difficulty in relating. Ultimately, for it is very difficult for the envious to put oneself in the other's shoes, to rejoice for him and, consequently, to build healthy relationships with the envied.
Envy: one of the worst feelings
To compound the picture, it's good to know that once hatched, envy mingles with many other contradictory feelings: admiration, frustration, indignation, malaise, etc. Usually envy arises towards family members, friends, colleagues. All people who by type of bond occupy the closest social circle of the envious.
For these reasons it can be safely said that envy is one of the most poisonous feelings. There is envy of the prestige of others, their bank account, their health, their sentimental situation, their work, etc. Strong criticism becomes the first relief valve in these cases.
It is a repetitive criticism with no specific purpose other than to fuel self-satisfaction, most of the time making the recipient sick. Envy can use weapons such as defamation, insult or lying, showing the individual's inability to accept reality and his own feelings.
“Envy is a thousand times more terrible than hunger
Because it is spiritual hunger. "
-Miguel de Unamuno-
Look at yourself before talking about others
The harmful judgment that arises from envy is the result of a feeling of apathy and unhappiness towards one's life. Envy reflects what we lack, nonconformity and self-rejection. It is a feeling that speaks of dissatisfaction and escapes from recognizing it.
It is not about conforming or not wanting to achieve personal development, yet one of the best techniques to use envy in a positive way is to use it as a motivator. This means making the successes of others the spark that shakes us and sets us in motion.
“Criticism is nothing more than hidden pride. A soul sincere with itself does not criticize. Criticism is cancer of the heart. "
-Mother Teresa of Calcutta-
Looking at yourself before speaking of others with envy serves to make us understand what we need to change or what desires we have. Desires that may not have manifested up until that moment. Starting from this self-observation, it is easier to direct our actions to realize our dreams, fighting with illusion, not with hatred, to succeed.
