Last update: 06 September, 2020
Being told that fear never leaves us can make our heart beat faster, making us feel quite anxious.. It is a natural reaction, or at least understandable. The society we grew up in has taught us to shun fears without facing them. But above all, it taught us to prevent its appearance even in situations where it is not certain that they will occur.
This feeling that we label as "negative" is always present in us. As much as we want and try to avoid it, it is impossible to do without it, in fact fear has a fundamental function for our survival. Thanks to it, we enter into a state of alert to deal with problems. For this reason, fear never leaves us.
A few millennia ago, fear was particularly useful to men as dangers were always around the corner. Nowadays, however, our lives are quite peaceful and our fears have also changed. But the way they have changed has made them non-adaptive. That is to say that they rarely occur when we are in situations of real danger.
Is our life really in danger when we have to give a speech in public? Would we die if our partner left us? The fears that arise in these situations are termed maladaptive. These are not real fears. We are not in danger. Feelings of this kind, instead of helping us, end up limiting us.
Our fears may be different, but there are things that never change. Fears drive us to act, not to be silent and to change direction. However, today we allow them to paralyze us. This attitude would once have resulted in death.
Changes allow us to grow
Fears will never completely disappear because there will always be changes in our life, whether they took it or not, it doesn't matter. For example, when we intend to start a business of our own, we will be afraid of not being successful, not getting the desired results, failing and becoming the object of ridicule for everyone else. But this is good, because it goes as it goes, it will allow us to advance and grow.
The real problem comes when we take refuge behind fears and don't intend to face them. It is at that moment that we hide in our comfort zone, without taking risks and without having the courage to do anything that is not a source of safety.
This situation, over time, will lead us to feel trapped in a dead end, without goals. We begin to hypothesize what might happen, without knowing for sure if it will happen or not. With our heads occupied with these thoughts, we end up standing still, doing nothing, while the hours, days and years go by.
It must be admitted, the comfort zone is a safe haven and when we are in it we feel good. But sometimes, it becomes highly disabling. If it were a garden, probably no shrubs would grow in it either. The reason it tempts us so much is that it has the ability to make us feel good and bad at the same time. Inside we feel safe and calm. Nonetheless, we feel like we are wasting our time by missing out on many opportunities.
People who panic about change usually envy those who like to take risks and get out of their comfort zone frequently. There is a little voice inside them that in those moments shouts: "Do something!" or "remember that you too have dreams and desires to pursue, make them come true!". For a moment, it is also likely feel a momentum, fantasize about how to get into action. But in fact, then, they end up standing still and doing nothing.
Fear never leaves us, so let's use it in our favor
Although we try to escape, fear never leaves us. There will always be a situation capable of catching us off guard and upsetting our routine. That's when our comfort zone begins to falter, but this is just an opportunity to finally make a decision. Since fear will never completely go away, what could be better than using it in our favor?
When you feel paralyzed, you think that everything you want is on the other side of your fears. Are you willing to give up on your dreams?
To help you cope with your fears, the following tips may help you. Even if they seem trivial, when we need them we fail to put them into practice. Nevertheless, if we want to say enough to the fears that limit us, using these simple tips when they arise can guarantee us results that are different from those we are used to.
- If fears limit you, don't stop and think, act! When these feelings limit you, for example if you have to speak in public, you need to stop ruminating about it. The mind is a powerful tool in our hands. Do everything to block negative thoughts and without thinking too much, take action. Once you take the situation in hand, you will notice how easily fears vanish.
- Use your fears to overcome your limits. If something scares you, use that emotion to be able to do that thing anyway. If the idea of ​​starting your own company is frightening you, use the fear to try to train yourself more and to move in search of opportunities that make you feel safe. A good idea might be to talk to people who could help you, find new members, etc ...
Fear never leaves us, never completely disappears; therefore it is better to learn to consider it an ally. Even in the most difficult moments, this emotion can be useful to change course and realize that there are several options. Remember that even as you grow and improve, the fears will always be there. However, instead of letting them stop you, you can make them inspire you to continue.
