Last update: February 20, 2018
Forgive yourself. Be brave enough to be compassionate with yourself. Stop criticizing yourself, blaming yourself, thinking about what would have happened if you had acted differently ... Why mistreat yourself so much?
Do you really think that by treating yourself this way you will achieve something? Do you think the solution is to punish yourself for your mistakes? A mistake is just a bad way of feeling something, but it doesn't have to be a reason to sink the one who made it. The key is to forgive yourself.
There is no need to hate yourself, to shout at you from the inside, to address you all the worst adjectives that come to your mind ... Nor that what you did that was not right is now a predominant part of your identity. How can you reduce everything you are to a mistake? Why hide your values, your virtues, your genius? Once again the solution is to forgive yourself.
Okay, you didn't want it to go this way, that wasn't your intention, but it doesn't make sense that from now on you are hiding in the deep cave of self-contempt. Let me tell you a few things. We don't want to convince you, just think about it. And then you can decide.
To err is human
To err is human. It is so. Making mistakes is a common thing, especially if we want to evolve. Don't just make a mistake, everyone is wrong. Some every day, others from time to time… In a lifetime we choose so many times that it is impossible to always find the best option. Moreover, as William James said, when we make a choice and when we don't, this too is already a choice in itself, and as such it brings with it the possibility of making mistakes.
As you can see, you have not done anything that the others have not done as well. Indeed, it is the norm rather than the exception. However persistent you are to think otherwise. An error is an invitation to discover another path, another way of doing things. A springboard towards improvement. Not the hole to fall into to never get out, to get trapped and let go. It is not even the reason to whip yourself, to be your own judge and executioner at the same time.
There are mistakes and errors, that's clear. It must be said. Those that are done involuntarily and those that bring deliberate offense and humiliation towards other people. These are much more complex and require a separate discussion, especially if repeated over time.
Perhaps they are signs of pride, resentment, or emotional immaturity. In any case, when you lose control over them, it is best to consult a professional. But we are not here to talk about the latter, but the other type. Of those we commit more often and become our chains ...
Don't become your own worst enemy
You may not have noticed yet, but since your mistake you have gradually transformed into your worst enemy. The first day you felt sorry and thought about how stupid you were, but then all you did was throw poison words at yourself. You have declared war on yourself.
You have fallen into the most voracious and ruthless self-criticism… up to the deepest contempt. And all this in silence. Yes, during your daily life, while you went from one place to another, in the shower, in bed ... Without realizing it you have classified yourself as monsters and, although almost no one perceives it from the outside, something inside you has gone breaking.
Maybe you are leaving some clues, such as being on the defensive or duller than usual. It may also be that you have limited your life a little more. You don't feel like doing some things anymore or sometimes you have stopped talking to others. The point is that making a mistake has completely invaded your life and disoriented you.
Doubt, excessive worry, confrontation, blame and criticism are now your best friends. It seems you can't do anything without them, and if they don't appear, you start looking for them. You have been trapped in malaise.
Forgive yourself to advance
Do you still think you have dealt with your mistake in the best possible way? Do you think becoming your enemy is the right price for being wrong? Well, no. You are so much more than just collecting all your mistakes.
Forgiveness is learning to let go in order to reinvent yourself.
Forgiveness is the only way to break with all that has been destructive to date. The best way to break the chains they trap in order to move forward. But you don't have to do it because you feel compelled or because you are reading it, but because you really feel you have to do it.
What's done is done. You cannot change it. You don't have the power to time travel to change what happened, but you have enough courage to make up for that mistake by looking for other alternatives. This does not mean ignoring it, but having the courage to take the responsibility that comes with it.
Look in the mirror and reconcile with yourself. Ask yourself for forgiveness. Really do it, from the bottom of your heart. Give yourself another chance. Because nothing educates us more than an error. If we make him a teacher and not a companion, of course.
