Last update: 17 November 2015
And you, how many friends do you have?
There are people proud to have armies of friends, names to collect on social networks, of individuals who barely know, but who, however, are always ready to give a "like" in each of their publications.
Good friends aren't just names or photos on your cell phone. They are people who listen to our words and know how to interpret our gestures.
They are lives that fit perfectly in our empty corners, voices that fill our worst moments and even the most beautiful ones, are laughter that make problems relative and people with whom to build our days.
Well ... how can we define good friends? Don't think about favors. Friendship is not based only on "you give me and I give you". Sometimes, in addition to support, diversity and fair aid, a good friendship, a great friendship is also based on silence, space and time.
Let's reflect on this.
The language of silence
Surely it will have happened to you at least once. To be with a group of people and to feel uncomfortable when silence fell.
It is in these moments that empty comments arise and gaps to be filled with words, those moments in which the faces of others are examined, without knowing what to do.
It's something that doesn't just happen with strangers. There are times that we feel this same discomfort with family members or colleagues. Well ... what is it due to?
To the lack of confidence and anxiety. It is as if these silences open the doors to those silent thoughts that frighten us. Is she thinking badly of me? What do you think of me?
With good friends this doesn't happen. We can also say, by way of reflection, that people value the value of silence very little.
Where souls rest peacefully, where complicity acquires an authentic meaning. We are people who do not need words to be together, to feel good. Silences are comfortable with the people we love because they allow us to be ourselves, with all our authenticity, without being judged.
The inexistence of time
"What happened to you?" it seems that you have forgotten about everyone, you are always on your own and you never make yourself heard!
Maybe some of your friends are like that. Let a day go by without being heard, for no reason, simply because you felt like it or because you didn't feel the need to stay in touch every moment. And here the reproaches immediately appear.
That's right, there are those who don't understand this kind of thing. There are those who think that friendship is like a news program, that you must always stay up to date, communicate every few hours what we do, what we think or how we exist.
By the time the pressure of obligation appears, we already feel anxiety. Because those who do not respect intimate times and disconnection do not understand the true value of friendship.
There are people who, for various reasons, work or personal, remain distant for months or years, but when they meet again, they rediscover that magical complicity that lights up our hearts. It is as if time has not passed, because the feeling is the same.
Has this ever happened to you?
Own spaces, common spaces
We could say that the problem is that many people do not know how to manage loneliness, emotions well and do not respect the personal spaces of others.
We all have or have had friends who needed continuous contact at all times, to continually share thoughts, fears, anxieties… And, actually, we did everything to be there always.
Little by little we realized that those people had few skills to manage their own problems, up to the point of projecting their fears and negativity onto others.
And without a shadow of a doubt, we would do everything for them, but with a limit: that respect our personal spaces, our identity and our emotional balance.
People cannot take charge of all the stones that others encounter on their path, to join them with their own, because they would make it impossible for us to continue on our path of life.
