Last update: October 27, 2015
How many times have we heard that a couple separated because "they no longer loved each other?". Can the feeling of love really fade away or are we not trying hard enough to keep it alive? Maybe we take him too much for granted and don't realize who his worst enemies are?
Without a doubt, habit and monotony are two of the main reasons why couples argue, separate or divorce. Yet we can also use them in our favor and improve our relationship with the person we love and with whom we have made a commitment.
Imagine you are a detective investigating a murder. The dead man is called "Love" and the main suspect in the crime is "Habit". You start looking for evidence to blame her, and you realize that Love trusted too much in Habit, and that one day the latter stabbed him in the back of her.
Of course, doing similar things every day is inevitable in our life and, consequently, also in the life of a couple. And so what causes the break is not really the "death of love", but the interference of habit.
The worst enemy of love is undoubtedly monotony or, in other words, boredom. Always doing the same things, going to the same places (or none at all), talking about the same topics, watching the same movies, going on vacation to the same place year after year, etc.
And habit is often the cause that triggers many other problems in the relationship, such as, for example, theinfidelity. And with that we don't want to justify the person who cheated on their partner, but to point out one of the underlying reasons that make it easier for this to happen.
Think about it for a moment: what do we do when we get bored? We are looking for something else that we enjoy. Here, something similar happens with love and habit. If we always receive and offer the same things and this bores us, it will be easier to want to find something that we enjoy elsewhere.
The couple has to contend with many difficulties over the years. Monotony is one of the biggest obstacles, but unlike other problems, it appears little by little and suddenly hits us from behind.
Yet, Did you know that there is a positive side to the habit? Of course, because it is important to know how to see the glass half full, and not just the half empty one! Monotony in the couple has always been seen as something negative, but it doesn't always have to be that way.
What's positive about habit?
First of all, here are the positive aspects of the habit in the couple:
- Safety: The feeling of being protected by someone who takes care of us is very positive and also arises thanks to habit, since fear of the unexpected it makes us react differently, as if we are under pressure. Many young couples fear the monotony of gestures such as always having dinner at home or going shopping on Saturday mornings. In reality, there is no reason to suffer for these things, one must learn to seek happiness in security.
- Knowledge: If you always do different things, when will you take the time to reflect on what you and your partner like? Everything we usually do tells us something about the person next to us, makes us understand what the other thinks or feels, and this is a very good thing.
What's bad about habit?
Monotony is negative when, due to daily commitments, we forget the person who sleeps next to us every night. This means that what happens outside the couple destroys it, but only if we don't know how to deal with it in the right way.
For example, if the wife has to prepare dinner every day after work and forgets to ask her husband how the day was or if the husband is in charge of picking up the children from school, but when does he return home? home sits in front of the TV or computer without speaking… These are the habits that little by little wear down the relationship, like drops that slowly corrode the stone.
But be careful: it is not a problem if we happen to behave this way sometimes, but when we repeat the same action from Monday to Sunday, for months or even years.
It is therefore important to distinguish and determine what kind of habits we want to have in our life. The positive ones, which help us strengthen our relationship, or the negative ones that destroy the couple and kill love? The decision is yours alone!
