Last update: 04 November 2015
Jealousy and open relationships go hand in hand. In fact, jealousy is the main obstacle in this type of relationship. It may seem contradictory because, after all, people who decide to start a relationship of this type seem to have overcome this feeling. In reality, however, there are very few people who really manage to never be jealous.
The problem is that many of the people who decide to have an open relationship, even if they are open minded and for personal freedom, do not take into consideration the fact that jealousy could affect both them and their partner, and for this they are surprised when happens.
It is therefore important to bear in mind that this problem may arise and accept jealousy, aware of the fact that it can be overcome with the right strategies.
Most experts agree that jealousy is a natural reaction, but when it manifests itself in an exaggerated way, it can result in irrational and harmful behavior.
While monogamous couples find themselves struggling with a certain amount of natural insecurity, jealousy in open relationships can cause very different complexes and reactions. In fact, many non-monogamous couples feel stigmatized and guilty when they realize they are feeling jealous.
In any case, remember that jealousy is natural in any couple, regardless of the type of relationship you have.
What is jealousy?
Jealousy represents our fear of the unknown and of change, of losing power or control over a relationship, fear of loneliness and loss, as well as of abandonment. It is a reflection of our insecurity about our dignity, the anxiety of being suitable lovers, and doubts about the suitability of our relationship.
Behind every feeling of jealousy, there is a much more important emotion than jealousy itself. Often there is an unmet need or a deep fear. Recognizing these fears and needs is the secret to unmasking our jealousy and undoing its power over us.
In the case of open relationships, today we provide you with some useful tips to overcome the ghost of jealousy and be able to have a happier and longer lasting relationship.
How to handle jealousy in open relationships
Get rid of the prejudice
Open relationships continue to be the subject of many prejudices, despite the fact that they are always talked about more freely and are increasingly widespread.
Many of the people who participate in this type of relationship have to carry the weight of these judgments on their shoulders, and it all makes them feel guilty and disappointed, especially when they feel jealous. In this sense, jealousy can be perceived as a personal defeat or an obstacle that compromises the relationship, given that, if we ourselves want to be free to be with several people at the same time, we must also allow the partner to do so.
Establish rules in the relationship
An open relationship does not mean a "no rules" relationship. Because of this, it is important to establish the limits of permissiveness that we can accept, to make sure that the two members of the couple are following the same rules of the game.
Learn to take care of ourselves
In open relationships, everyone is responsible for themselves and must learn to calm down and control their emotions on their own. The ability to cope with jealousy demands a certain level of personal safety, which does not depend on the love of the partner.
Safety
If we want to express our jealousy, we must do it with the aim of gaining respect and understanding. For this, ignoring or despising the feelings of the other will only contribute to increase them. In open relationships it is important listen to each other, reassure him and, above all, make him understand with our actions that there is nothing to be afraid of and that he can be sure of our relationship.
Understanding the bright side of jealousy
Feeling jealous can be a good opportunity to explore the causes that trigger it and reflect on the type of relationship we are involved in, and understand which path we want to take them. Jealousy is also an opportunity to reconsider our beliefs and mature as a couple.
