Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 24 March, 2022
We can all read a person's emotions in their eyes. After all, the gaze is the most communicative, most transmissive part of the human being that allows for a more intense connection. Grasping all the non-verbal clues present in the eyes of others will allow us to intuit, for example, the falsehood, sincerity or magic of attraction.
Bécquer used to say that those who can speak with their eyes can even kiss with their eyes. Such is the magnetism of these fascinating organs that sometimes we are not fully aware of all the secrets that lie within them. Communication experts know well that even if many of our behaviors, actions and words can be filtered by social conditioning and our will, the look expresses a language that we cannot always control.
If someone attracts us, the pupil dilates. The same happens when we are surprised. The gaze turns in a direction when we try to remember something or lowers when we remain suspended in a state of introspection. There are many and subtle nuances that characterize the behavior of our eyes, so it is always interesting to know more information about it. In this way, we can go deep into the minds of others or read emotions effectively.
How to read emotions in the eyes
Let us reflect for a moment on the following: there is an activity to which we dedicate a large part of our time, that is to communicate with other people. We do it (almost) always face to face, looking for eye contact, however, we pay more attention to the oral message, the word, the quality of the dialogue.
It must also be said that in recent years, with the arrival of new technologies and instant messaging systems, the communication style has changed. We no longer need to be in front of a person to say something, now we can even convey happiness, love or anger through an emoticon. All of this is neither good nor bad, just different and, above all, faster.
However, with this new form of communication we lose the power to read other people's emotions in their gaze. We deprive ourselves of this pleasure, of this mystery which is to reveal, based on very small gestures and magical nuances, the quality or complexity of our relationships. Now let's see how to carry out this reading, this analysis.
The eyelids
When we talk about eye language we are not just referring to the eyeball and pupil. The great expressive power of our gaze is orchestrated above all by a complex web of nerves and muscles that intervene in the movement of eyebrows, eyelids, temples, etc.
- All this reflects the emotional activation of each moment, where the eyelids also perform their function. For example, we know that when something surprises us, unworthy or even angers us, we tend to blink a lot more.
- It's just as common to blink a lot when interacting with someone we like or when we're thinking about multiple things at the same time.
Perhaps all this may seem contradictory to us, but it is worth knowing that this action, blinking with greater intensity is a mechanism that the brain activates when it feels more nervous than usual. If we want to read the emotions of others through their eyes, therefore, it is important to focus on the context or conversation we are having at that moment.
The language of the pupils
Our pupils dilate when we see something stimulating or have little light. If something or someone attracts us, the pupil usually expands like a full moon, immense and illuminated by this sensation, by this power of attraction. On the other hand, when we feel offended or see something that is unworthy or contrary to us, the pupil narrows.
Visual synchronization
We all would like to be able to read the emotions of the people we like. However, sometimes you don't need to be an expert in non-verbal language to perceive attunement that at a given moment we can establish with a friend, with the person who attracts us or even with a family member.
A curious fact about this topic that is explained to us by the experts is that when two people "are connected", a visual synchronization is also established, that is, the gestures are camouflaged and the same micro-expressions are activated.
Sideways looks: shy and liars
It has happened to everyone a few times when talking to a child or a very insecure person. Instead of maintaining direct eye contact, they looked to the side, those corners where not to meet our face, those spaces where they face us only sideways, where to take refuge their extreme shyness.
It is necessary to remember that even a liar has shy eyes. It is not an obvious attitude as in the case of shyness or social anxiety and, for this reason, we must pay the utmost attention in order to read their emotions and intentions.
To conclude, as we have been able to deduce, the eyes transmit a remarkable and wide variety of social and emotional information that sometimes escape us and that are not always easy to interpret. We have interesting studies and works at hand such as Reading What the Mind Thinks From How the Eye Sees by psychologist Reginald B. Adams or Unique morphology of the human eye by Hisashi Kobayashi, which allow us to deepen the subject.
It is worth doing.
