Last update: December 06, 2017
We experience many emotions, sometimes very intense, such as guilt, anger, sadness, anger. Often, however, we do not mention an emotion that can have such a strong impact that it destroys us: humiliation.
Humiliation is a negative emotional state that deeply affects us. The feeling that you are worthless, that you are mediocre, that you look ridiculous whatever you do is a heavy cross to bear.
It has always been a mystery to me why men feel honored when they impose humiliations on their fellow men.
Mahatma Gandhi
Humiliation activates areas of the brain associated with pain
Researchers from the University of Amsterdam conducted a study whose goal was to compare the reactions of 46 volunteers to different emotional states. They analyzed participants' brain waves as they read insults or praise on a screen.
Volunteers listened to different stories and were invited to put themselves in the shoes of the protagonists. Only in this way could they understand their emotions. For example, one of the situations involved an appointment with a person, who, as soon as he saw them, left.
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Scholars have found that the feeling of humiliation triggers a much faster and more intense brain activity than cheerfulness, more negative than anger, as well as activating the areas associated with pain.
Although the praise awakened joy, the feeling of humiliation was much more intense than this pleasant emotion. The most disconcerting result is that anger did not hold up either: many participants were angry or annoyed by the insults, but the humiliation had a much more negative charge.
The feeling of humiliation is present in everyday life
Humiliation is present in everyday life. In fact, many people are unable to communicate except by humiliating those in front of them, thinking they are doing it for their own good. They lack the empathy needed to convey what they want to say in a more pleasant and courteous way.
A classic example is that of the mother who praises her child's friend by taking him as a reference point for activities and behaviors. Without knowing it, she is despising and belittling her son's effort. If she makes a comparison when both boys are present, her son's malaise can increase due to the humiliation he is subjected to.
Situations of this kind are not lacking in everyday life, especially in the workplace or in relationships. This feeling occurs when one of the two members of the couple makes fun of the other and makes him feel inferior.
Humiliation is an unpleasant and intense emotion that can last over time no matter how deep your wound is. It affects self-esteem and somehow annihilates it and it is difficult to recover it.
Read also: The emotional wounds of childhood: when a band-aid is not enough
Humiliation? The secret is self-esteem
What can be done in similar situations? How can we prevent humiliation from affecting us deeply? How can we manage the discomfort it causes?
The key lies in knowing and valuing oneself. We must not give too much weight and power to the opinion of others. We need to understand who we are and prevent others from defining us. Ultimately, we must take care of our self-esteem to regain self-confidence in moments of doubt and despair.
In this sense, it is very important to take care of our inner language, the way we communicate with ourselves. Do we say good things to each other or do we constantly tell each other "how stupid I am", "things always go wrong" or "I'm a disaster"?
We must treat ourselves well, value ourselves and love ourselves. If we are permissive with others, why not be permissive with ourselves? Let us allow ourselves to be wrong, we do not aspire to perfection.
Let us value ourselves to the point that any humiliating attack from others is indifferent to us. Because we cannot prevent others from humiliating us, but we can make sure that this does not make us feel bad.
I have learned that to humiliate another person is to impose an unnecessarily cruel fate on them.
Nelson Mandela
Now that you understand that humiliation is an attack on identity with the aim of causing pain, take precautions. Begin to value yourself, not depend so much on the approval of others and believe more in yourself.
