Last update: June 22, 2016
Did I really love or just need it? Sometimes it happens to discover that we have not really loved that person we said we loved so much. So have we been living in a lie? Did we both lie to the other person and to ourselves?
Today we want to try to answer these questions, to understand what is the limit that separates necessity from love. What if this limit doesn't exist? Is there a relationship between love and need?
Maybe it wasn't love, maybe it was just the little need to try something different. Something that, for a moment, marked my life.
Love or need?
Love is a feeling that has nothing to do with old-fashioned concepts like possession. We know that it is such a strong feeling that it is able to overcome any obstacle. We can even love a person who is not physically with us because, as we just said, loving does not mean having or possessing.
But when we find ourselves living with the love of our life, we may find that our need for him is stronger than love itself. Think about it: why do you need your partner? In which aspects of your life is it essential for you? You will surely realize that you need your partner for many things in life.
For example, you may need to take care of the children, do the shopping, prepare food, or occasionally give you a lift ... We don't realize it, but sometimes need plays a much more important role than love same.
Love is not blind, what is blind is the need to feel loved or close to someone ... And that blind need is what makes you stay with someone even when you know you shouldn't.
That's where you should stop and think about whether you still love your partner, because maybe the time has come when you just need them. And do you know what will happen when you no longer need it? That the relationship will start to crack and, at some point, it will break up.
The best way to be happy with someone is to learn to be happy alone. Only in this way can the company become a choice, and not a need. I needed ... and you?
If, on the other hand, you discard the possibility that there is a psychological problem that pushes you to search for a partner, we can move on to another question. In any relationship there is a part of "need" that we need to be aware of. Of course, this need must never be more important than love.
If the need is stronger than love, it is good to rethink our relationship to understand where we are wrong ... Because, at times, we believe that the need is love and we do not realize that it is not.
Love in all its essence
Love is so difficult to describe precisely because it is a set of many things, even of need. A need that will always be a little selfish, because it arises from the desire to achieve our well-being and feel good.
But love is also freedom, because it knows no labels or barriers, it is a pure feeling that flies. Trying to repress or grasp it is a grave mistake. It is normal to need your partner, but that need is not always related to love.
Letting go of a situation or a person does not mean ignoring it, but accepting it without needing to control it. Letting go must become an act of love, not fear.
Ask yourself every time you feel the need: did I feel more need than love? If the answer is yes, it is important to take a step back and start changing the attitudes that have brought you to this point. Need is a comfortable and often pleasant area, but it is also a very selfish area.
We must learn to balance love and need if we want our relationships to be happy, in order to also think about the needs of the other. Everyone likes it from time to time that others need us, but it makes us even more happy that they love us.
