Last update: December 11, 2015
I forget you why I love me, why I'm tired of being this satellite that revolves around you, lost and broken. Like a moon that no longer shines and that has lost its magic and even its light.
Why do we sometimes go to extremes and lose our balance and self-esteem for another person? Without knowing how, something pulls and pulls us until every part of us is frayed, leaving us with the soul in pieces and devoid of all joy.
It is important to remember that any emotional relationship is based on living life together with another person. We must never make the mistake of living our life for the other person, putting the keys to our happiness in his or her pockets
Despite this, we all know that forgetting is not easy and for now no one has that special pill with which to vanish whenever a relationship doesn't work. Forget, in fact, is not the solution to all the pains of the soul and heart.
Instead, it is a question of "lowering the volume" of the memory a little at a time, of deactivating its importance so that that noise does not prevent us from returning to live with balance and dignity. Because whoever makes us forget who we are does not have the right to occupy a prominent place in our memory.
When I forgot about myself
The need to forget comes after making a decision and having taken a step forward. This involves a great act of courage and emotional maturity, when we understand that we need to say goodbye to something that was hurting us.
How many days go by, how many seasons go by behind the windows, time does not make us forget. Instead, he helps to put things right and, above all, to mature. Because what's really hard is forgetting who made us forget everything else
If you have had a relationship like this, in which you realized that you were no longer who you really are, of course you will know how long the process of rehabilitation and inner care is necessary to be able to "find oneself". However, what takes us to the extreme? Why do we get so blindly carried away by and for another person?
These are very co-dependent relationships
In one way or another, we end up "diluting" in the person we love, thus losing our individuality. The problem is that we often do it voluntarily, completely in love and considering love and one's relationship from this point of view.
Little by little there comes a point where we consider the needs of the other as more important than our own. You will be surprised to know that, for this to happen, there is not always a need for an imposition of one member of the couple on the other.
Within popular psychology, we talk about Wendy's syndrome, which refers to the literary character Wendy Darling from the Peter Pan story. Usually it is about women who conceive of love as "giving themselves completely to the other", staying behind and taking care of the partner and leaving themselves in the background.
Relationships in which "power" is contained in a single person
If one of the two members of the couple has the task of making all the decisions and gives priority to the other, the relationship is unbalanced and doomed to suffering. The other person will have a vulnerable self-esteem and integrity, he will be, metaphorically speaking, a satellite that revolves around a planet, without course, without light and going more and more adrift day after day. Forgetting about oneself happens in a progressive and irremediable way.
Remembering is easy for those with good memories, forgetting is difficult for those with heart
Since we have a heart, forgetting is like a sunken anchor that on rare occasions allows us to be free from the memories of the past. Despite this, sometimes what we seek is not to forget the relationship itself, but rather that person we had become and that it didn't look anything like what we really are.
There are relationships that transform us into someone we are not. They make us fragile, they make our values ​​vulnerable and they play with our feelings. When we look in the mirror and do not recognize ourselves due to the sadness imprinted in our expressions, it is time to react
Whoever transforms us into someone else does not really love who we are, but the image he created or that he himself has in his head.
- The person who is next to you must respect your essence, your light, your person in all its facets.
- The moment he wants to change something about you, and you allow him to justify it with the idea that he does it out of love, you will begin to wander into a very dangerous abyss.
- There will always come a time when you will compare how you feel and what you deserve. If there are more complaints than happiness, and if you are aware that you deserve balance and, above all, happiness, you will be brave enough to take that step forward.
- Always remember that, in reality, it is not a question of forgetting every day lived together. It is about remembering without it hurting and that is something you will get by continuing to live one day at a time.
It will be increasingly difficult to forget who gave you good things to remember. If, on the other hand, they have given you nothing but tears and disappointments, let them come out of your mind and heart, like a splinter under the skin that finally comes out and makes you breathe.
Images courtesy of Christian Schloe
