Last update: 01 November 2016
Over time, we end up realizing that love is not made with the body, but with the soul. That the passion that truly satisfies is the one with which our essence travels beyond the skin to engrave itself in two minds that open up, that are naked thanks to affection, certainties and feelings. Two minds that dance in silence and feel one.
Experts argue that the skin is the most important sexual organ of the human being. People need to be touched to survive, and sometimes a caress is enough to activate thousands of sensory receptors capable of giving life to an emotion or a sensation. However, in authentic love, the symphony of sensations integrated into our skin is not always enough, we want more.
"The Moon lives under your skin"
(Pablo Neruda)
The best love stories don't appear in books. They are engraved in our skin with an invisible ink, imperceptible to the rest of the people, but essential for us. Because they are tattooed with the flame of those wise fingers that moved in the dim light to give shape to our body, that woke up our soul to shape it and give meaning to life.
We invite you to reflect on it.
Look for me under the skin
It is not easy to find someone to merge with in this way, with emotions, values, sensations and complicity. It is like an intoxication of the senses in which everything suddenly fits together, everything comes into harmony and there are no more empty spaces to fill.. The soul fills with joy and the heart awakens from its winter lethargy just when we thought we would never be loved again.
There always comes a time when we get tired of cowardly loves, of those that don't risk, of those that vanish like a late summer storm. After the passion and the promises made up in the nights made of caresses, the calm arrives, the bright morning in which there is no room for lies and in which nothing is left but absence on the other side of the bed. There are only the ashes of our broken dreams mixed with tears.
And in the end we learn. We collect our fragments with love to reunite them with the strongest of dignities. We repeat to ourselves the mantra "I will no longer allow anyone to hurt me". We learn that the best lover is the one who dares to seek us beyond the skin and even emotionally strip naked in front of us.
The true chemistry of love
The true chemistry of love exists and is located right in the center of our head, almost like a third eye. This is the pituitary gland, where a “magical” and incredibly powerful human hormone is contained: oxytocin.
We can all have sexual intercourse at certain times, when our brain is a torrent of sensation and neurotransmitters that orchestrate our most basic and pleasurable instincts. However, sexuality is only truly and truly enjoyed when oxytocin appears.
This hormone ignites in us the need to care, to pamper, to protect. It nourishes us with affection, kindness and a wise passion, aimed at creating a permanent bond in which all fears and uncertainties are extinguished. In fact, there are numerous studies that claim that orgasms are much more intense when this magic formula is involved.
We all know that there are couples who, over time, stop being such to become simple lovers. Their lives no longer have spaces in common, even though they live under the same roof; there is no more joy, but between the sheets, inexplicably, they continue to speak the same fantastic language. It is as if the magical component is activated only at certain times.
Love is what remains in the heart and soul of two people, what goes beyond the skin and speaks a language that only the wisest lovers understand.
These situations are nothing more than the waiting rooms of a goodbye. There still remains the breath of attachment generated by oxytocin which will gradually disappear, going out like the embers of a bonfire that until recently had given warmth to the environment.
Sexuality undoubtedly has its own language, an exclusive language that you need to know. Especially since not everyone is looking for the same things. There are those who prefer a "skin to skin" meeting, in which nothing is important, in which there are no agreements to sign when the dawn breaks. These aspects must be clear from the start in order not to give rise to disappointment.
Scholars also tell us that nowadays we live in a kind of capitalism of eroticism and emotional relationships, in which everything is for sale and, at the same time, is fragile. Erotic games are sold and new experiences are recommended; then there are more and more websites for virtual dating, which make us believe that finding a partner is easier than ever.
Nonetheless, none of this offers genuine happiness. It's just little shots of dopamine, throwaway puffs of happiness; in fact, after a while, the lonely heart is again dragged into the ocean of expectation and hope. In a waiting room where you want hands that are finally able to touch our skin and tickle our soul.
