Last update: January 10, 2017
Phrases such as "if there is no jealousy, there is no love", "if he really loves me, he does not need to go out or see anyone else" or "to love means to guess what the other needs" serve to justify unfair and disheartening situations which, in reality, represent nothing more than an illusory romantic love, most of the times fictitious.
In love, as in any other field in life, you learn. Sometimes, however, we are led to learn the wrong way. The idea of ​​a romantic and idyllic love so often coveted today does not help interpersonal relationships at all. The values ​​on which relationships should be based are quite distinct from those of a passionate love based on all or nothing.
Love is one of the most powerful feelings that exist, and each human being brings it their own characteristics and ideas that, in many cases, are not entirely truthful. In fact, most of the couple problems are due to some expectations related to love and the couple that distance themselves a little too much from reality.. Such distorted ideas of passionate love can cause even the most stable of couples to falter.
"Disturbing emotions and toxic relationships have been identified among the risk elements that can favor the onset of diseases"
Features of manipulation
Manipulation occurs when one person exercises control over another person's behavior. To do this, persuasion techniques are used to nullify or condition the judgment skills of others. Mental manipulation can be considered a particular form of selfishness.
Manipulators tend to use their partner unscrupulously, driven by narcissistic purposes designed to achieve power or to achieve one's goals. They can make use of lies or seduction, even going as far as coercion exerted through threat or force to the point of destabilizing the victim. Manipulative people are able to circumvent situations in such a way that the behavior of others works in their favor. If they are particularly good, they will not let the manipulated person know that they have fallen into their trap.
The people most likely to be victims of manipulation by their partner are those who suffer from low self-esteem, accustomed to feeling guilt and inferiority. There are also other factors that favor manipulation, such as some external situations: loss of family members, breakup, divorce, job loss.
Love has nothing to do with manipulation.
How to recognize a manipulator?
Recognizing manipulative people will allow you to avoid many problems and frustrations in your future life. If your partner hates receiving "no" for an answer and if when you try to resist his seduction attempts he behaves strangely, even going so far as to lose his temper, well you may find yourself facing a person who hates the idea of have no influence on you.
People who manipulate their partner love to demonstrate their strengths and prowess - these are rarely shy people. They tend to put responsibility on others when they don't get the expected results. These people don't mind helping others or offering themselves, on the contrary, they live focused on themselves. They do not know the meaning of the word reciprocity.
They always talk about themselves, rarely asking you how you are or if you need something, always disinterested. Furthermore, you will realize how, when you slowly begin to give in, they will never show gratitude for your actions, on the contrary: they will always want more. Manipulative people tend to be incredibly insecure, but try to show the exact opposite. They practice selfish and dominant behaviors to cover up their fears.
The first fundamental step to get out of a situation where there is manipulation is to be aware that someone is manipulating you. Realizing that the person you love is using you to the point of turning you into their puppet will inevitably lead you to feel a deep emotional malaise.
There are various solutions to solve this problem. One of them consists in ending the relationship in the face of the impossibility of the partner's behavior changing. Another solution is to get your partner to change the way he asks you: get him to ask you things directly rather than indirectly, so as to force him to show you all his cards and his true goals.
It is curious to note that people who claim to control others are unable to control themselves first.
