Last update: Augusts 31, 2015
If your problem has no remedy, why are you complaining?
If it does, why are you complaining?
Eastern proverb
How much do you complain during the day? Try to think about it for a moment ...
Each of us carries within us a series of complaints, waiting to get them out. We complain about work, our partner, friends, how they treated us in the last restaurant we went to for dinner, etc. The list could be endless.
In our society, complaining is becoming a habit. However, after having despised everything we could, we return to our everyday life and the complaints gradually end up in oblivion.
However, there are people who complain about their lifestyle: There isn't a single day when something doesn't happen to complain about.
Sometimes, complaints are used as a relief valve, to release tension; problems arise when we cling to them and make them indispensable for our life. By doing so, we will not other than focusing exclusively on negativity.
This continuous spiral of complaints leads us nowhere, on the contrary: it paralyzes us. Psychologist Joan Garriga argues that "complaining reduces people's vitality".
Complaining does not help change the situation, neither people nor things; the only function of complaints is to inform that we don't like reality.
Complaints solve nothing, unless we say them purely to let off steam. This practice is effective only if it is not repetitive over time, otherwise it becomes counterproductive, since it brings no solution.
Do you think that if you complain, the circumstances will seem different to you? Do you think everything will be solved with a magic trick?
Sometimes, complaints are also an indication of one lack of responsibility towards people and situations, or the assumption of the role of victim.
Of course, you will be able to identify the people around you who complain about their situation, but do nothing to change it. People who only know how to talk, focusing on the negative aspects of things and who don't try to find solutions or alternatives.
When we complain, we are somehow blaming others and external circumstances of our unhappiness: we take away all responsibility, as if our well-being depended on external factors; we become victims of our reality.
Complaints take away the power we have, make us resist the acceptance of reality, paralyze us in action and obscure the future.
In fact, if constant complaints have become a habit, it is because there is some benefit in uttering them. Therefore, it is necessary to understand what lies behind those complaints, what the hidden needs are.
By complaining, we imply that things did not turn out the way we wanted, that others did not behave as we hoped. We would like things to mend themselves, but complaints are unable to resolve anything: change must come from within us.
There is no point in complaining if you do not take action to seek alternative solutions. Often it is enough just to observe and understand the events; it is up to you to focus your energies on living or dying slowly.
Ask yourself what the complaints you are making are for and answer them truthfully: in this way, you can find out what you really need.
On the internet, you can find information about an initiative that proposes to stop complaining. The authors of this movement, Blancpain and Pelgrims, talk about the importance of the benefits that are obtained if we stop complaining for a month: we would obtain a higher level of happiness and we would learn about concepts about communicating with others.
You would be able to go a month without complaining? Happiness and well-being are hidden under the blanket of victimization.
