Last update: December 01, 2015
“To change your life on the outside, you have to change yourself on the inside. The moment you are willing to change, it is amazing how the universe begins to help you and give you what you need. "
–Louise Hay–
Leaving without saying anything… Such an idyllic choice?
Thousands of people opt every year to change their lives, leave their homes or get away from family. Others, on the other hand, doubt whether to leave or not, due to the responsibilities they have, the fear of what they do not know or the existential emptiness.
Why does it disappear? How do those people who are no longer based on their past manage to rebuild their lives? What are the consequences of that abandonment on their loved ones?
Although at the beginning the idea of "Leave everything" and "start from scratch" it can be very attractive to some people who are in a difficult situation, actually rebuilding an entire life in entirely new conditions is tremendously difficult.
Deciding to make such a radical change without working on the basis of a person's history or personality only increases the feeling of being adrift and repeating the same mistakes which, in the past, led to unhappiness.
The most frequent reasons why people tend to make the decision to cut all ties to their past are:
- Fear of compromise.
- Too many responsibilities (adopted or imposed).
- Feeling of live a meaningless life.
- Don't be comfortable with themselves.
- Traumatic events.
- Family difficulties.
- Economic Crisis.
- Find yourself.
- Abandon emotional relationships that don't work.
- Search for emotions.
- Desire of work progress.
- Take back control of one's life.
- Search for anonymity, get rid of the labels.
Change your life without abandoning everything
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can change their lives by changing their mental habits"
-William James-
An alternative that has less impact on the life of the individual, but which guarantees more stability, is to change life without abandoning everything.
Many people feel the need to get away from it all, but they don't and they choose a less drastic change, but no less profound for themselves and for the environment around them:
- They have the same reasons to undertake a radical change, but they consider that this it does not have to imply the total abandonment of their work and family environment.
- They start exploring new sources of motivation and novelty around themtrying to do different activities, meet new people and not go to the same places as before.
- In the field of work, they look for an improvement, a change in the sector or the possibility of greater geographical mobility. If that's impossible, they can decide to change jobs while always remaining in the same area.
- When faced with emotional difficulties, they can opt for a professional help help them individually, couples therapy or family therapy.
- If they decide to end a relationship, maintain emotional ties and responsibilities while interrupting coexistence, it will be a more balanced option for them and for others.
The way you change your life has consequences for those around you
Everyone has the right to change their life if they are not happy, but take into consideration the feelings of the people who make up their family, social and work circle can tell the difference between adopting a personal change that is more or less harmful to others:
- For those who are abandoned suddenly and without explanation, the removal of the loved one can turn into a traumatic event.
- They don't start asking questions only about the departure, but also about themselves, because they try a great sense of guilt and anxiety.
- They fail to deal with the pain of loss sensibly and one is born feeling of condemnation for themselves, a feeling of not being able to forget, an irreparable mystery full of doubts and reproaches.
For this reason, adopting a change that implies the total abandonment of your loved ones without giving neither explanations nor the time to assimilate and understand, implies a double pain: of those who leave and those who are abandoned.
So let's try to do as little damage as possible, even if we think that abandonment and departure are justified.
