Last update: May 21, 2016
An elderly man reads a diary to an equally old woman, a diary that talks about the love of a couple who met in the 40s: they are Allie and Noah. They are in love with her, but her parents are opposed to her daughter going out with a guy with little money.
Life separates them, but neither forgets the other, until they meet again. Now, those two young men are elderly and the man reads their story every day to the woman, who has lost her memory, to remind her of an unforgettable love. This is the story of "The Pages of Our Lives", one of the most romantic and moving films of recent years. Watching a film like this, we wonder if it is possible to live such an intense, sincere and lasting relationship in a world where relationships are built very quickly, and then fade within a few days or months.
Everything seems to be so superficial and empty… How long does it take to really know a person? Why are we so afraid of exposing our souls? Relationships may or may not be eternal, but we don't even give ourselves the time and opportunity to find out.
“But if we don't meet again and this is a real goodbye, I know we will meet again in another life. We will meet again and perhaps the will of the stars will have changed and we will be able to love each other enough to make up for all the previous separations. "
(The pages of our life)
Eternal love: scientific studies
Harvard University has published a study that supports what even some couples might say: eternal love exists and the secret is only one, that is to enjoy a real empathy with the other. According to therapist Charlotte Pasquier, “for a relationship to work, you need two people walking in the same direction, but they don't need to think the same way or want the same things. As long as they are aware of the other's desires ”.
As we said, according to this study, the secret to lasting love is empathy with the other, or the fact that there is a mental and emotional identification with the other person's state of mind. Eternal love means understanding without judging.
"If you fall I get up, or I lie down next to you"
(Julio Cortazar)
A team of neurochemists from Stony Brook University, New York, has found evidence that eternal love is possible. Experts examined the brain reactions of a group of volunteers who had just ended a love affair.
It emerged that, when we see the photo of the person we are in love with, the ventral tegmental area of the midbrain reacts. This area of the brain is responsible for processing dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for motivating desires.
If the same subjects were presented with the photo of another person, even if it resembled one's beloved or depicting an old friend with whom there had never been any love relationship, no changes appeared in the brain. After that, for about 20 years, married people (10 women and 7 men) were analyzed, who claimed to still have feelings of love for their partner.
Their brain reactions were measured in the same way and were noted on a scale of 1 to 7 points, in order to establish the intensity of the love felt by the volunteers. Well, the minimum recorded intensity of this group of volunteers was 5 points.
The reactions of this group were recorded in the same area of the brain as the group of "new lovers", ie the ventral tegmental area and the corpus striatum. However, there were also differences: in the volunteers of the first group, the brain areas activated, in addition to those already mentioned, were also those corresponding to obsessions and nervous tension; in the second group, on the other hand, the areas relating to friendship and motherhood were activated.
What makes love last?
It is clear that there is no magic formula for love to last, but if we want our love affair to be long, we will have to make a considerable effort every day. Following, we give you some suggestions for establishing a solid and lasting relationship.
Affinity
The most enduring couples are those who share different values, principles and passions. You don't need to be the same as your partner, but there certainly must be common elements to share and have fun with. It is advisable that, in the life of a couple, there is a part dedicated to intimacy and one to the community with our partner.
"Because without looking for you I find you everywhere, especially when I close my eyes"
(Julio Cortazar)
A sense of humor
It is very important to see situations with a pinch of humor and to play down. With a sense of humor, couple conflicts can be dealt with in a more relaxed way, as long as you respect each other.
Mutual admiration
Admiration, the ability to learn things from each other and the fact that these two elements are reciprocal are among the elements that most unite the two partners. It is very good to express this appreciation in various ways to show our partner that we admire him, and vice versa.
The manifestations of affection
Do not assume that your partner knows you love him: show him every day, even through small details, like, for example, making him coffee for breakfast, giving him flowers, writing him affectionate cards. In other words, you need to take care of your relationship and the love you feel for your partner.
