Last update: Augusts 02, 2017
Sometimes we settle for what doesn't make us happy: out of habit, out of indecision, out of fear. The heart oxidizes and the mint remains trapped behind the wire of the comfort zone. We forget, perhaps, that being happy can be very easy; it is complicated, however, to know how to define what is important, nutritional and magical for us and, therefore, to fight to obtain it.
"It is so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple", few sentences contain such an evident truth. To understand this, let's think about something for a moment. Many of us have been educated to the idea of ​​having to obtain certain things to be able to define ourselves, to reach a certain status, to be able to have certain qualities and adequate skills for a specific purpose.
We study and obtain qualifications to get a job. We have a job to achieve an alleged well-being and we obtain a series of resources, materials and goods and we establish certain social and emotional relationships that, in theory, should fill us with happiness. However, this formula is not always correct, the factors are not in harmony with the product.
Is happiness a fraud? Absolutely no. Authentic deception is the way in which we have been made to believe we can reach it, because those who persist in reaching this state of grace will fail indefinitely. The pursuit of happiness never ends well for one simple reason: it is a state of being. It is not sought, it is created; it is not found, it is obtained. Furthermore, there is one aspect that we cannot underestimate: not everyone needs the same strategies. Each of us has to do this work in our own way.
From Hygge to Lagom: the curious world of Nordic utopias
From 2015 to today in any bookstore you can find the word Fun. The Danish miracle to be happy has had an amazing and overwhelming success, at least on an editorial level. It invites us to reach a full and authentic well-being through the purest, most elementary simplicity and aimed at depriving of conflicts the coexistence with the people we love.
Strange as it may seem to us nowadays the term Hygge begins to thin out to give way to new winds, complementary and intimate approaches through a new word: Lagom. The Scandinavians once again convey to us another trend which, as always, is decorated with pleasant photographs that summarize a concept that tries to spread immediately among instagramers. “Lagom” has been tweeted thousands of times in recent months and Vogue, Elle and even the Ikea company are spokespersons.
The term Lagom can be translated as "in the right measure". For example, it encourages us to surround ourselves with basic and essential things, to buy only what is necessary, to respect the environment, to decorate the house with minimal furniture, to eat healthy and necessary food, without excess. Finally, it also reminds us that work must never make the effort of our life. As we can see, once again the idea is repeated that “less is more” and that happiness is found in simplicity.
However, while these messages are positive and comforting, we cannot ignore the marketing behind these trends. Nordic fever, with its excellent detective novels, with its lifestyle and its wonderful society of well-being, continues to attract us, there is no doubt.
However, there is also a bit of a bitter utopia. This is explained to us by an award-winning and at the same time much criticized essay entitled "Almost perfect people" by the Englishman Michael Booth, with which he tries to offer a realistic vision of the apparent Nordic happiness; something that, in a certain way, we could already guess in Henning Mankell's books.
One of the aspects that most attracts attention is the fact that the Nordic countries, apparently among the happiest in the world, occupy the first places in terms of suicide rates. Apparently, there is something wrong ...
Create your own recipe for being happy
All of these books on learning to be happy are always interesting and worthy. They offer us new perspectives, they make us aware of things that, perhaps, we did not perceive, they invite us to reflect and undoubtedly make changes. However, we must be clear that these are not instruction manuals or bibles, which is not easy for everyone, because sometimes we live very different realities.
Being told that work shouldn't control our life makes no sense when, for example, we are unemployed. We can't even live with the bare minimum when what we already have is basic. By saying this, we want to raise awareness that happiness must be built on one's skin, it must be of one's size and in harmony with one's personal realities.
This requires effort, willpower and understanding that being happy can be very easy, there are no doubts, but the most complicated aspect is having your priorities very clear, which can be completely opposite to those of others ... Such a thing requires courage, not an Instagram photo of a woman reading a book wearing woolen socks, glasses and a cup of coffee next to her.
Sometimes to be happy, you have to drop everything and start from scratch. Other times it requires a laborious inner work, with which to heal wounds, overcome frustrations and find new motivations. We must be able to make what is difficult easy, but also to create our own recipe for being happy.
Images courtesy of Ottokim
