It is good to be kind, but we cannot leave our interests behind to appear pleasing to others. We cannot try to make others happy all the time while we are unhappy.
Last update: February 10, 2022
It makes sense that most of us prefer to interact with those who show kindness rather than dealing with a bitter or quarrelsome individual. However, some people seem to take pride in being considered the most generous, the kindest, and the ones with "the most friends".
The question is, can we be kind to everyone, in all situations? There are people who often misunderstand prudence and kindness and abuse "their friends" that they are good people. And there are also those who, because he is kind, cannot bear an affront.
Of course, it's nice to be kind, but we can't leave our interests behind to appear pleasing to others. We can't try to make others happy all the time while we are unhappy.
Kindness has a limit: learning to say "no"
Busy people often feel guilty because they do not have time to do many of the activities they would like to do. To feel better, they tend to solve other people's problems or take responsibility for others.
Many people use the kindness of others to achieve their goals, without worrying about what is good for others.
You have to find the balance in doing what someone else has asked for. There is no reason to act recklessly, but there is nothing wrong with refusing to do something you don't want or can't do.
It is good to learn to respect what common sense indicates as best for itself and learn to say "no" whenever necessary.
"Nothing is forgotten slower than an offense, and nothing faster than a favor."
-Martin Luther King-
Don't feel guilty or offer a thousand excuses
Do you feel guilty when you put your own interests above those of others? Do you usually give a thousand excuses why you couldn't do a favor to someone you did thousands of?
Try to think of yourself. For once you could not offer your help, because you have preferred to devote your time to something important to you. And it can't be bad.
It may sound selfish, but our interests should come first. Sure, as long as it doesn't harm or anyone.
If we act in line with what is important to us, the people around us will notice. They will stop asking for favors that they know we can't do them.
Is the kindness that destroys caused by low self-esteem?
It's hard to accept, but the truth is that the people with low self-esteem are often too kind. If we exude exaggerated friendliness, self-analysis can be helpful. It will help to know what makes us overly helpful to others.
Maybe we seek acceptance from everyone because you don't trust yourself. Is that what makes you so kind and thoughtful?
Self-confidence is essential to achieving what you want in life. To the extent that we stop giving in to everything others ask of us, we will prevent them from taking advantage of our kindness. This is a decisive step towards self-confidence.
It is not difficult to stop being “the kindest person in the world ". Just gain self-confidence, correct that behavior little by little, and the world will run its course with greater benefit for your own personal purposes.
Of course, kindness is not bad. In fact, we need many more kind people in this world. Therefore, don't think about changing your natural tendency to be kind and thoughtful. Simply, if that's the case, try to change the inclination to underestimate oneself and to put their interests at risk.
Conclusions
When we stop doing the things that matter to us and that make us happy to do other tasks that make others happy but not us, we have a problem.
If you feel that people are "abusing" your extreme kindness and you are unable to say no, consider going to a specialist. These can help detect in which situations we are most vulnerable and what we can change to feel better about ourselves.
