Last update: June 15, 2015
When a couple decides to go to live together, they do so, undoubtedly, based on the love they have declared and with high expectations, but no one feels the difficulties involved in this change.
We must learn a put aside the manias, small or large, to be able to share space and time freely with another person.
Everyone, when we do something, we have some preferences on how to do it, and here we are not talking about big things, but about small ones: in general, with regard to the big issues, an agreement is reached.
The problems lie in the most insignificant things which, however unimportant they are, represent the points where we repair ourselves; normally let's not waste too much time thinking about how to reach an agreement to deal with them. At the same time, it happens that not even our partner gives it importance, and then things begin to accumulate, we begin to get progressively angry, until we burst.
There is no compromise on these things, we do not talk about them and it is probably for this reason that they create so many problems for couples, both recent and established ones.
Dialogue is one of the most powerful tools for learning to live together. Think about it: it would be very interesting to tell the other, with affection, what bothers you, and do it before you are overwhelmed by the situation. It would be great to explain to your partner what you want and that you were able to listen to the needs and proposals of the other; only in this way will you be able to understand yourself. It often happens that our partner does things that annoy us a lot, just because he has no idea of ​​the harm they do to us; if you are able to make your needs explicit (with love, we repeat), you will surely find a solution that is good for both of you.
To be able to live together, you have to accept a certain invasion of your intimacy, of your space; you have to learn to create a new space, as a couple.
Share your wishes and your plans for the future. Love is truly capable of anything; it can be considered "the universal glue", because it unites what is broken. However, one must be aware that the ruptures, however small, leave traces; we must therefore avoid hurting ourselves, especially when the reason that has triggered the disagreement is small for both. Life will have plenty of time to put you in greater difficulties and, if you have been able to manage these small problems correctly, when the big problems arrive you will be prepared to face them.
Sit down, talk, listen, plan and season it all with lots of love - this will make your life so much easier.
Leonor Casalins
