Last update: February 07, 2015
Expressing anger is a way to break free and let off steam, but some people do everything they can to repress their feelings and so they don't release the energy they have inside. When anger is not venting destructively, it can be helpful, as it helps release the stored energy, which over time could harm us.
There is a clear difference between neutralizing anger and controlling it: trying to control anger increases the likelihood of losing control, as it arises from fear, which can give rise to unwanted feelings and make anger control us.
Levels of anger
Anger goes through many levels, and knowing how to recognize them will help you understand what level you are at.
Activation
The cycle of anger is activated: the person feels irritated and annoyed.
Deliberation
At this level, the brain analyzes the reasons for feeling angry, but it doesn't go beyond a slight grumpiness.
Climbing
The tension rises and intensifies; changes in tone of voice and facial expression, and body language becomes more aggressive. Small temper tantrums may occur, but most anger continues to develop within.
Confabulation
This level is what determines whether we will continue to feel simply annoyed or really angry.
Incitement
At this point the anger begins to express itself and all the expressions of this feeling are poured out, stimulating greater discord.
Consternation
At this level the individual is out of control, he feels confused and reckless; he feels fear, and this feeling can cause him to return to a lower level and thus avoid reaching the last level of anger.
Extermination
At this point the desire arises to destroy the cause of anger, with a totally aggressive behavior.
It doesn't always cause violence, but the intensity of the anger is so great that you can easily lose control. Among the acts of violence that take place at this level we find crimes of passion and murders.
Ways to neutralize anger
Learning to neutralize anger helps to counteract the tensions it generates.
Have no reaction
Do not react to distance yourself from the triggers: do not participate in the game, but become an impartial observer, so as not to lose control. Nothing can make you react if you don't want to, the decision is yours alone.
Recognize anger in others
The second way to neutralize anger is to review the aspects that characterize you mirrored in others. You can see in the opponents the frustrations that you too have experienced. Understanding the negative reactions of others will help you respond with greater compassion and to neutralize their tendency to anger.
Focus on the opposite emotions
The third way to neutralize anger is focus on emotions opposite to what you are feeling. Choose a different emotion from the one you are feeling at that moment, you will succeed through the constant practice of this exercise. It is a way of demonstrating how powerful our decision making can be.
Image courtesy of Stephen Poff
